Her feet will carry her wherever she needs to go. The road ahead is endless and full of dreams of possibilities. And, although I can't walk everywhere with her, she will always be by my side because she is a piece of me. And I am a piece of her. No matter the size of her shoes.
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In the quiet of your room I felt myself fighting back tears. In the quiet of your room I realized how quickly you are growing. In the quiet of your room I felt the incredible pressure. In the quiet of your room I felt the weight of being your mom. Being a mom, being your mom, is my greatest joy. But it is also my biggest responsibility.
The feeling of not being enough is a lie that many of us end up believing at some point. It can send us on a dangerous chase to find external things to make us feel satisfied, but there is no such thing. If we can't find happiness within, we will never be able to find it externally.
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And: your kids grow up in the blink of an eye.
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As our lives became more hectic and lifestyles more busy, the traditional model of family also shifted. No longer were women staying at home, living out their lives as "domestic goddesses," and increasing numbers of men were shown to be not particularly handy when it came to making and fixing things, and that was okay. But now, our kids don't have those skills at all. What happened?
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"Children need to be occupied, they need structure, they need predictability," the experts tell us. Heaven help you if you don't make sure to keep those sticky little hands busy between late June and Labour Day every year. After all, children need structure right? No they don't.
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"A hug is like a boomerang. You get it back right away." This is true 90 per cent of the time. But 10 per cent of the time, it's not true -- especially when you're trying to hug a reluctant teen as you drop them off at their friend's house or at school, and even sometimes when you're alone in the house with them.
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I know there are going to be many, many more hard moments when I ask myself how much longer a certain behaviour of my children's is going to last. But with each of those hard moments that I want to end, there are a dozen precious moments that I want to hold onto for a lifetime.
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I've experienced different kinds of neediness in my life: My professional contacts have reminded me since you were 6 months old how badly I'm wanted back at work. Your father has patiently waited for me to become a friend and a wife to him again. Your grandparents have always missed spending time with their only child. But nothing like this.
It's an interesting phenomenon among parents, this "just wait." What will happen if all I ever do is look out for the perils that lie ahead? I'll wait and wait and wait and then these precious years will be over. And in waiting in fear of what's next, I'll have missed the process of actually getting there.
So what's a parent to do when they realize that their child, for whatever reason, is having difficulty making or maintaining friendships? No parent wants to feel that their child is missing out or... being shunned for one reason or another... Yet, this is the reality for too many children who face rejection on a daily basis.
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The kids are growing up, and as they do so, drifting away. Their independence is greater than their need.
I think back to those days when I was smothered in children. When I knew every moment of their day. When our lives were so entwined it was difficult to see where one started and the other left off. When they were a part of me, and I was a part of them.
It all starts from the day they're born. I am proposing that, to paraphrase any person from England, you start the way you mean to go on. Let them take over your night's sleep for longer than a year? Hmmmm. Jeopardize every social plan you try to commit to? Not good.
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Changing a toddler's dirty diapers is truly one of the worst things you have to do as a parent, but somehow those five minutes were some of the best of my night.
We all have a journey towards our sense of self; for identical twins, the road to self-awareness both literally and figuratively, is particularly challenging. In the case of my kids and so many other identical twins.
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Indeed, most instances of "faking it" are caused by the usual reasons, most of which are innocuous. It's the more insidious ones that we, as parents, need to be aware of so that we can address the causes at the basis of why our children are avoiding school.
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Remember that it is completely natural for tweens to argue with us. They are assessing their sense of independence. They are learning the skills to become independent, well-adjusted adults. Even if right now we feel like throttling them.
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Instead of trying to get your parents to love and validate you today, you'd be better off facing the truth about them, giving up your futile attempts at winning their love, and focusing your attention instead on developing the self-love and self-confidence that your childhood deprived you of.
If I am being completely honest, there is a teeny-tiny bit of me that thinks it should be okay. Seeing how my girl has grown up and become a young adult is rather poignant. To the outside world, I realize that it is different. Provocative Halloween costumes look sexy on her, as the costumes are intended.
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I'm so happy to watch you grow, and so proud of the big kid you want to be, even though growing often comes with pain. I love who you are becoming and who you already are. Grade two is pretty new to us, but it suits you just fine. Keep getting bigger, baby ...and also, stay small.
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Overparenting, over-managing, over-involved. This is how we would describe our generation of parents. It comes from a good place of course -- we love them and want to protect them. We want them to be the best in whatever they undertake. But what are we really protecting them from?
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It was an amazing time. You couldn't tell this Dr. Carter G. Woodson reading, Zeta loving girl anything! My college years were everything. I don't have any regrets, but if I had the chance to whisper some wise words to the afro-puff rocking young Shanita I would do it.
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On Saturday, August 29, I turn 30. Three-oh. Twenty plus ten years. The age in which you are completely responsible for your own actions and can't, in any way, shape, or form, blame it on your "turbulent twenties" or "being young." That's why here, in the spirit of turning 30 and basking in life lessons, I present: 30 things I learned about style over the course of the last 30 years.
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nd I'd give myself a solid 8/10 at life. It's just that remaining 2/10 that's sometimes missing. This other 20 per cent is, in my opinion, the zest of life. It's those moments you get caught up in and find yourself wondering if this is really your life -- is it actually possible to be this excruciatingly happy?
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"What's Lily Dale?" my husband asked. "Lily Dale is a spiritualist community in upstate New York. Seriously, everyone who lives there is a psychic," I said. "People have been going forever to talk to the dead. I really want to go."
Dear Daughter, I'm writing this not to let you know how much I love you, and I do. So much. Not to tell you how proud you've made me and how talented you are. You have. You are. I'm writing you to let you know that I understand. That I care.
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I'm a feminist, but that doesn't mean want to see your bush. Let me explain. I spent my morning at a water spa in the city. An important part of this scenario is that bathing suits are optional. Great! Cool! I'm a modern lady! I've seen Dove commercials! Nakedness is no problem for me. EXCEPT THAT IT FOR SURE WAS!!!!!
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There are no polarities when it comes to twins. No "good" one vs. "bad one;" no angelic child versus evil spawn, no duelling forces, vying for the top spot in their respective categories. There are just kids, warts, scabbed knees and all. Though the mythology and expectation of opposite-minded twin siblings is appealing to some, it is, fortunately, untrue.
Sure, Santa may determine that a child's behaviour is not up to snuff and is therefore a reason to deny said child of gifts on Christmas Day. But why does Santa have to be the judge, jury and (figurative) executioner on December 25th? Whatever happened to parental responsibility and the ability to look one's child in the eye in an attempt to deliver the verdict?
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Today is my 42nd birthday, and I must admit that admitting my age is getting harder, in part because I come from a long line of age deniers. When I was younger, my mother would call me up whenever sh...
Listen, the only thing people hate more than a work party is a fucking negative Nancy at a work party. Smile, you little bitch! People like happy people. So be happy, be present, swallow your desire to stab yourself in the eye with a canapé toothpick! It will all be over soon and you can be watching Home Alone 2: Lost in New York in footie pyjamas!
It's fair to say that many teens love getting something for nothing. Free candy? It fits the bill. And every October 31, they fail to disappoint, showing up at the door, thrusting a bag in the direction of unwitting participants, sometimes without even uttering the agreed request -- sometimes, the words "Trick or Treat" aren't even mentioned.