You might know that the number one word associated with being transgender is "dysphoria," a vague medicalized word used ascribed to transgender people to describe how mirrors and people you thought were your friends now make you cry. But another common word I've heard transgender people use to describe themselves is "monster." I knew to expect all that pain before I told a single person. But what nobody had prepared me for was the joy.
You may not think that science has ventured into just how we acquire the old "syrup of yahoo," but it has. You may also think that what makes people happy differs greatly from one person to the next, but we are surprisingly homogeneous in our tastes. If you're not making the most out of every day, here's some proven ways to motivate more mirth.
I wish I had followed this advice years ago; it would have given me a huge headstart on my pursuit of happiness. But I know it now, and I'm passing it on to you. After many years as a psychologist committed to making New Yorkers' lives happier, I've arrived at the conclusion that the single best piece of advice for finding greater happiness
Let me tell you a little bit about myself. I'm 45 years old. I'm single. I've never been in a committed relationship. I don't have kids. My parents both died when I was in my mid-30s. I've been estranged from my oldest sister for about 20 years. I have profound hearing loss, due to deformed cochleas, and I identify as "hard of hearing."
Some people are extremely creative and productive. They're prolific writers, painters and musicians; they're visionary designers, architects and speakers. It's as though they experience no obstacles to producing a constant flow of high-quality work. Some people are just lucky and their productivity comes naturally. The rest of us can learn their secrets and discover, for ourselves, that amazing state of flow.
The truth is that if you're a people-pleaser, you've been using the people in your life to compensate for something that's been missing within you; you've been focused on getting others to meet a need, rather than on creating real connections. This might explain why you're not as happy as you could be, today.
You can always be fired, downsized, or replaced. Your company could fold. The economy could tank. Depressing, I know. But, oddly enough, it's also empowering. Knowing there's no 100% guarantee frees you from pressure fall in line, fly under the radar, cave to the pressure, and suck it up, all for the sake of "security."
Today's topsy-turvy world has us all running madly in every direction. We often feel overwhelmed with what's before us -- and that is, even, before our feet hit the floor in the morning. We are losing our joie de vivre; there is precious little fun and almost non-existent downtime in our lives today.