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If you're a parent who finds yourself guilty of over-protecting your kids and doing too much for them, you can start repairing the situation right now.
They must, first of all, stop over-protecting and coddling their own children.
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An excess of parental smothering prevents a young person from growing up to feel confident and empowered.
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Parents are better off acting as authority figures and not their children's friends, say psychiatrist Marcia Sirota.
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If parents and schools make it too easy for young people to shirk their work, it's unlikely that these youth will ever be willing or able to do what's necessary, in order to excel in their training or in their future jobs. If a young person has had helicopter parenting and/or has graduated from a college that coddled them, how can they overcome these disadvantages and achieve success in the workplace? It's simple, if not easy. They have to learn the attitudes and skills that will make it possible for them to succeed.
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Helicopter parents think that they're doing what's best for their kids but actually, they're hurting their kids' chances at success. In particular, they're ruining their kids' chances of landing a job and keeping it.
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Parents teach this behaviour. They teach their children that by feigning inability they can get things done for them. Sadly, after enough time the question arises as to whether these children are feigning inability or actually lack the tools to accomplish the tasks being asked of them.
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"Put away your cowbells. They don't belong in the arena."
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"Children need to be occupied, they need structure, they need predictability," the experts tell us. Heaven help you if you don't make sure to keep those sticky little hands busy between late June and Labour Day every year. After all, children need structure right? No they don't.
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They should be able to confidently navigate independent situations. Being able to ask other adults for help, ordering fries from a fast food counter, helping a younger child at the playground, figuring out their own boundaries -- this all takes practice.
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"Careful" is a helicopter parent's mantra. These kids have grown up in the shadows of fear, always too afraid to take risks, too cautious to make sound decisions alone and too callous to stand up for themselves as they have never had to. In their childhood their parents made all their decisions and as young adults they have no clue how to fend for themselves.
Let kids fail young -- while they are still in their beta phase, adaptable and resilient. Let them struggle with a math problem. Let them audition for the lead role when you know they're likely to be cast as an understudy. Let them make mistakes that will build self-care and even empathy.
We are doing a huge disservice to our kids. We are raising a generation of children who are going to be incapable of succeeding in the modern era. They are being taught to be egocentric and to give up, often before even trying.
What normal parent would be insanely jealous of their own child?! I never expected it and I certainly didn't want it. But there it was: jealousy. As plain as the nose on my face. It all started just after puberty. I was fourteen when Mom first accused me of trying to "be cute" for my own father. Need I add that it wasn't true? But your Mommy is always right, isn't she?