The day will come. Someone will disappoint you. Someone will betray you. Your day won't go as planned. Your boss will get angry. Your client will get angry. You'll lose something. You'll lose someone. The list of potential setbacks is never ending. These challenges can make it feel impossible to keep it together, and that's normal.
Accepting that the marriage is really over is hard for many divorcing parents. In my case, although I initiated the split, I could only look sideways at myself as a soon-to-be-divorced woman. The pain surrounding that was too overpowering to take in all at once -- I felt it would have squashed me if I tried. So I got to know it gradually, with support, until I could stare it right in the eye.
We've all heard the phrase 'life is a journey'. What if we took it one step further and looked at life as the ultimate road trip with your Life Map helping you navigate the way. After studying my own life I can clearly see how all the different experiences, events and people have shaped me and have led me to where I am today.
I'm in great shape, emotionally and physically... I've learned some new tips for balancing all the things that I like to do, and as a result, I'm enjoying my practice in a way that I hadn't been, previously. Taking time away from work has renewed my love for the job and has made me a better therapist, as a result.
The true power of the video and the reason why so many people watched it, was the fact that Candace Payne was able to laugh out loud without an ounce of self-consciousness. Ms. Payne was willing to look silly online, and I think that this ability to be so authentic and free was the real reason why her video got over 140 million views.
I wish I had followed this advice years ago; it would have given me a huge headstart on my pursuit of happiness. But I know it now, and I'm passing it on to you. After many years as a psychologist committed to making New Yorkers' lives happier, I've arrived at the conclusion that the single best piece of advice for finding greater happiness
I am proud of where I am today and who I have become. I am the result of all of my experiences -- the good, the bad, and the not so good. And, I wouldn't go back and change a thing. So, to those that I have worked with, worked for, and known throughout that almost 40 years of workplace experience, thank you. You are part of my whole.
Some people are extremely creative and productive. They're prolific writers, painters and musicians; they're visionary designers, architects and speakers. It's as though they experience no obstacles to producing a constant flow of high-quality work. Some people are just lucky and their productivity comes naturally. The rest of us can learn their secrets and discover, for ourselves, that amazing state of flow.
As you gain distance from the early days of babies and toddlers, preschool and elementary school, from this place above the trees you can finally see. Like that mama bird sitting up high in the tree, you stand now as a humble mom of 17 years, better able to discern where you've been and where you're going.
Feelings are great, when they're positive. We smile and high-five to share our exuberance. As co-parents after divorce, we're more in the negative territory at first -- anger, sadness, longing. Who wants to feel those? Easier to ignore them, or distract ourselves with a glass of wine or a movie until the feelings go away.