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Nikki Gill

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The Return of the Sneaker Wedge...Ugh

Posted: 03/15/2013 12:01 pm

Let's take a stroll down memory lane, back to the early 2000s. We made many mistakes in these years from faded jeans to velour track suits (thanks to Jenny from the block). But there was one particular look that really topped the list. Who could forget the epic invention of jersey dresses and sneaker wedges?

I'm not talking about jersey cotton, that wonderful material that I love to sleep in, I'm talking NBA jerseys. I mean, why not... all the guys were wearing NBA jerseys like they were the coolest thing around, so clearly it was acceptable to turn those jerseys into dresses. No! It was not acceptable. And the worst part of this look (because the jersey dress really wasn't the worst part) was the shoes!

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Steve Madden


The sneaker wedge!

A sneaker with a heel, a complete oxymoron. And now here we are, about a decade later, and they're back!

I'm not usually a hater of returning trends. I love the way fashion cycles and recycles the hits and misses of the past decades. I was right there, on trend with high-waisted shorts. I was even a fan of last year's palazzo pants, which is really just a modern take on the bell-bottom (which I suspect will be back and happening this spring). However, I can't get on board with sneaker wedges.

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Spring


It's just not cute

I've also never seen anyone look cute wearing them, and I've looked. I creeped the pictures of Rihanna, Alicia Keys and Ciara all rocking the sneaker wedges, and it just wasn't working for any of them.

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  • Sneaker Wedges

    Why would I wear such an ugly style AND be uncomfortable? Absolutely no way. The form is unattractive and the function is limited. Katy Perry, February 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Sneaker Wedges

    Jessica Lowndes, May 2009 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Sneaker Wedges

    Keri Hilson, April 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Sneaker Wedges

    Nelly Furtado, May 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Sneaker Wedges

    Lindsay Lohan, May 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cowboy Boots

    Don't get me wrong, I love any footwear associated with riding animals (oooh, equestrian boots). But the pointy toe, clunky heel and galosh-like fit on the leg just doesn't work for me. Even though I love country star Alan Jackson, there are too many other shoes out there that I'd rather wear. Taylor Swift, April 2009 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cowboy Boots

    Vanessa Hudgens, March 2009 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cowboy Boots

    Christie Brinkley, August 2010 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cowboy Boots

    Carrie Underwood, April 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cowboy Boots

    Lindsay Lohan, February 2011 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Fringe Bags

    Another western-themed trend that I can't get behind. It feels inauthentic to me since I'm neither a) Texan or b) a bohemian hippie from the '70s. Nicole Richie, May 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Fringe Bags

    Hilary Duff, June 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Fringe Bags

    Rashida Jones, May 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Fringe Bags

    Elle Macpherson, April 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Fringe Bags

    Haylie Duff, April 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Thigh-High Boots

    These shoes always remind me of Julia Roberts in "Pretty Woman". It's not the kind of working girl I want to emulate. Rihanna, February 2012 Nora Ephron

  • Thigh-High Boots

    Heidi Klum, March 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Thigh-High Boots

    Ciara, February 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Thigh-High Boots

    Ashley Tisdale, December 2011 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Thigh-High Boots

    Jennifer Hudson, December 2011 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cropped tops

    I love the retro look of a midriff-baring ensemble, especially if the exposed skin is only a few inches and it's the area right below your ribs (no belly buttons please). But what happens when you sit down? Spillage. 'Nuff said. Jennifer Lopez, March 2011 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cropped tops

    Miley Cyrus, March 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cropped tops

    Selena Gomez, March 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cropped tops

    Katy Perry, March 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)

  • Cropped tops

    Frieda Pinto, May 2012 (Photo credit: Getty Images)


Now in their defence, all of these beautiful celebrity faces were at casual sporting events, so maybe that makes it OK? I would disagree, but I can see the reasoning behind the thought process. If it's not bad enough that some of your favourite celebrities are indulging in this oh-so-tacky trend, so are some of your favourite designers. Yes, it's true: Dolce & Gabbana, Marc Jacobs, and even Christian Louboutin.

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Aldo


What is the appeal?

You can't tell me that the logic behind sneaker wedges is just comfort. You can throw on a pair of normal wedges, or even a bootie or sandal with a chunky heel and you'll be just as comfortable. I promise you! So if it's not the comfort, it must be the look. If you really love the look of a sneaker with your outfit, wear a sneaker! If you want that sneaker to be feminine, wear a bedazzled sneaker... just keep it flat.

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Shoe Dazzle

So what are we to do?

Well, this isn't a reality show. We can't just vote the trend off the island. In fashion, everyone is entitled to her own taste, style and opinion (that's why I'm so openly voicing mine here). So the alternative option is to sit idly by and wait for the trend to pass. I will be crossing my fingers that it will be just as short-lived as it was last time. Using my (non-existent) psychic powers, I predict that we will be rid of the sneaker wedge by 2014.

I would love to tell you that we will be rid of it for good... but we'll have to leave that one up to the fashion gods.

Are you a sneaker wedge lover? Please share! There must be another side to this story.

 

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