When the team at Notable.ca recently found themselves at brunch with a group of single young professionals (YPs) -- yes, both ladies and gents -- we thought we'd take the chance to discuss (what else) being single.
One of the biggest complaints isn't the lack of potential in our city streets, or how that hot Tinder find didn't call back, or even the mounting pressure from our parents. Rather, it's the loose-lipped comments our friends in relationships constantly make.
So if you're one of them, these are 11 things never to say to your single friends:
"How are you single? You're such a catch."
Trust us, there are many factors that affect a single status that have nothing to do with desirability. This could mean a recovery from a broken heart, a demanding career, an unwillingness to settle, or simply because (gasp) they actually want to be single (a.k.a. not tied down).
"Don't worry, your time will come."
Who's worrying? YP singles know (or at least hope) that their time will indeed come. But have you taken a moment to think that, just maybe, they're OK if it doesn't come for a while? And, to be honest, they may rather be single than with the person you're with anyway (don't shoot the messenger, we're just telling it as it is).
"Have you tried online dating?"
Whether they have or not, singles are incredibly sick of hearing this question. Just stop. They are very aware the option exists, so you don't have to provide a list of couples who've met and married via the click of a mouse. They know them too.
"I'm going to create an online profile for you."
And when you follow through with this comment, your single friend will think, you do that, and I will temporarily de-friend you in every way possible.
"Wow, it's so tough when (insert significant other's name here) goes away for the weekend."
Say this to a single and one of two things go through their mind:
1) Aw, I feel so bad for you, I don't even remember what it's like NOT to be lonely on the weekends.
2) Wow, I am glad I am not so dependent on anyone for weekend fun.
"Tell me some exciting stories!"
Young professional singles are also sick of their married or long-term relationship friends asking about the dating dirt in an attempt to live vicariously through the so-called wild and exciting young professional dating scene. Words of wisdom:
A) Unless volunteered, it's none of your business.
B) You must be a little bored in your relationship.
C) It's not as fun as it looks.
"Maybe you're being too picky."
What's the alternative? To settle? "I would rather be picky until I no longer had the option to be," says a single 28-year-old Toronto female.
"Are you worried you won't be able to have kids?"
Especially among females, this one naturally strikes a chord. Of course the thought has crossed their minds...and they're well aware that freezing their eggs is an option. But why do you have to go and ruin a day like that?
"We would invite you, but it's just couples and board games."
Say this, and all your single friends either think 'I am never going to be one of those couples. Ever.' Or, the opposite: "I have no problem being the 11th wheel at a dinner party full of couples," said a 30-year-old single Toronto guy. "It's annoying that others make it an issue."
"Do you think that (insert ex's name here) was the one who got away?"
Maybe he or she was. But, if you've thought that, it's definitely crossed your single friend's mind too. Thanks for the reminder?
"Well, that's why he/she is still single."
Just never say this to a single person about a single person ... especially if that single person is the same age or younger.