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Omar Alghabra

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How Being a Minority Taught Me Tolerance

Posted: 04/ 3/2012 7:52 am

On April 17th, Canadians will celebrate the 30th anniversary of our beloved Charter of Rights and Freedoms. This is an appropriate occasion for me to share how Canada and the Charter helped evolve my values and approach to life.

I was raised between Saudi Arabia and Syria. I lived as a member of the majority sharing similar faith, sect, language, culture, and heritage. Minorities mostly kept their identity private and avoided drawing attention to their background.

It wasn't uncommon to hear generalizations and negative stereotypes about minority groups. There was a sense of superiority over minorities and it manifested itself in different ways: comments belittling other people's faiths and cultures; whispers questioning people's loyalties; jokes mocking their "unusual" traditions.

No wonder most of them kept to themselves.

Such conversations were had by well-meaning people who didn't know any better. There was no effort to understand different cultures.

If a member of a minority would ask for accommodation they would hear reactions like "What more do you want?" "You are doing very well for yourself in 'our' society." "I wish I enjoyed your success." Sometimes comments like "If they can't adapt to our values maybe they should find another place to live," were commonplace. It was as if members of a minority were visitors and not equal citizens.

As a young teenager, I don't recall pausing to reflect on the unfairness of how minorities were treated. Such subtle and not-so-subtle narrow-mindedness had no impact on my life. My interaction with members of minority groups was limited to superficial pleasantries. I did not learn about their lives, culture, heritage, and history.

I moved to Canada when I was 19, where I became a member of a small minority and was exposed to other cultures and lifestyles that were alien to me.

I was struck by how surprised and sometimes offended I was by questions and comments I faced when people displayed ignorance or dismissive attitudes towards my culture. Much of the curiosity was genuine and well-intended, but it was frustrating when tainted by misinformation.

That was when it became clear to me: During my childhood I was sheltered believing in simple black-and-white absolutes, ignorant of other shades. The comments I found disturbing today were the comments I used to tolerate yesterday. It was a transformation from the simplicity of being part of a homogeneous dominant culture to the humility of having to explain who you are.

The old saying "Don't judge a man until you've walked a mile in his shoe," became more sobering than ever.

This journey allowed me to question everything I thought was accurate. Any assumptions I had that could not withstand the test of logic and justice were discarded and replaced by informed ones. Going through that exercise solidified my understanding of my identity and humanity.

Phrases like "this is conventional wisdom" and "this is common sense" were no longer as persuasive as they used to be. Does "common sense" include everyone's perspective? Not always.

I learned that fundamental rights should not be conditional, dependent on the mood of the majority or bestowed through tradition. Human rights are universal, non-negotiable, and to be applied equally.

The letter and the spirit of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms defined Canadian culture. That unique Canadian attitude is visible in our schools, workplaces, and neighbourhoods. It nurtures respect and accommodation for everyone even if they look and sound different.

This is not to say that racism and systemic unfairness don't exist in Canada, but the Charter makes it hard for them to prosper.

Becoming a minority provided me a perspective that I would never have had had I remained a member of a majority. Canada and the Charter provided me with the space to belong as a full citizen with equal rights.

I was once debating a friend about the lack of equal rights for minorities in the Middle East when he told me that I appear to have forgotten everything I learned in the first 20 years of my life. My response was that I never have, but that I also learned from the next 20.

 

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11:54 AM on 04/04/2012
In order to further this understanding I'm organizing a speech competition among students of various backgrounds on the topic of Antisemitism and Islamophobia- since everyone must be concerned about the racism the other faces! See www.namf.ca
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08:43 PM on 04/03/2012
"Tolerance or toleration is the practice of permitting a thing of which one disapproves, such as social, ethnic, sexual, or religious practices."

"...acceptance has to deal with positive welcome; favor and endorsement..."

worlds apart!
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Kenneth T Tellis
04:00 PM on 04/03/2012
What Omar has NOT understood that the Trudeau regime took away inherent rights and replaced it with laws that diminished those rights and made any LAW that the government made and which violated the BNA Act of 1867 legal to the point that ONLY the Trudeau regime would be a the decider of what constituted our rights. Here was an extreme case of the DIVINE RIGHTS of KINGS being given to a PRIME MINISTER, while being denied to the people.
08:11 PM on 04/03/2012
The most significant reply I can muster to this is:

"Huh?"
Jack Canuckski
Canadian Observer of the passing scene
03:29 AM on 04/04/2012
I don't know what Mr. Tellis is talking about, and I'm not sure he knows either.
02:13 PM on 04/03/2012
"The letter and the spirit of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms defined Canadian culture. That unique Canadian attitude is visible in our schools, workplaces, and neighbourhoods. It nurtures respect and accommodation for everyone even if they look and sound different."

Except, of course, in Quebec, where English is outlawed in public areas other than specific cultural institutions, or public facilities not designated as 'officially bilingual'. Therefore the CSST (Workman's Compensation Board) produces French only Health and Safety signs for use in workplaces, French hospitals have French only signs everwhere, including signs for the Emergency department, etc., and anyone working in any job not offically designated as bilingual (and for businesses over a certain size getting government approval to designate a position as bilingual is a legal matter) the employee is not required to speak English for any reason. Therefore, in French hospitals, for example, a French nurse is not required to speak even a single word of English to any patient. English hospitals, on the other hand, must guarantee all services be available in French.
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02:04 PM on 04/03/2012
Thank you for your wonderful article Mr. Alghabra! Your experience shows exactly why Canadians are one of the most tolerant/accepting people in the world. Most of us are immigrants, and our experience in this totally mixed society teaches us to ditch our judgements about each other based on hearsay, for "underneath" the different colours, traditions, religions and mindsets we are all people who want to live our life in freedom and security, accepted for who and what we are. Being white I'm not a minority, but I did come from a communist country, and I was amazed how much misinformation there was about it when answering questions from Canadians upon my arrival.
To not judge a book by its cover, or by the opinions of other readers is a great lesson for everyone, and it's a lesson one cannot help but learn when living in a country of such mixed races and cultures as Canada.
My experience is that a number of white Canadians have a lot harder time accepting the unique qualities, customs and traditions of minority immigrants, because they never had to fight for being
accepted into a society. Those of them who take the trouble to get to know the people and their traditions personally, instead of taking media supplied information at face value, do both themselves and the minorities a great favour.
05:09 PM on 04/03/2012
All I know is taking the subway in Toronto it's a "rainbow coalition" of color and languages.
I love it and think "we all do get on fairly well".
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01:15 PM on 04/03/2012
Brilliant article.
I am also glad that my family moved to Canada and what living as a minority did for me and my development.
Living as a Jew in Israel, I really thought we were the centre of the world. I had never met a Christian and Muslims were kept at an arms length away. I mean, you did business with them but you were always slightly uncomfortable.
Living in Canada among people of a different culture, language, way of thinking, faith, and lacking a community, I developed a far more open mindset than my mom or dad ever had. In fact, as a teen I threw a tantrum every time my dad wanted to put me in a Jewish school because I found it abhorrent that I would go to Canada and miss the multiculturalism at its centre.
By the way, the North American Jewish community is ridiculously hateful towards and different from Israeli Jews. As such we only had allies among Israeli Jews, and that was always a small disorganized community. The same happened to Moroccan Jews when they moved to Montreal and the Jewish community there wanted nothing to do with them. We were forced to feel like minorities even in "our" supposed group.
Funny how Jews in North America are more connected to the Christian majority than they are to other Jews, I feel like many of them never understand that they are a minority and never learn the important lesson such an experience teaches.
05:15 PM on 04/03/2012
I'm a bit confused about "North American Jews being hateful towards Israelis". I know a ton of money from Canada goes to Israel from the Jewish community.

And I also don't understand "Jews are more connected to the Christian majority"...I live in Toronto where the city shuts down on Jewish holidays. However I don't think Jews here ever think they're not a minority.

But I don't know where you were in Canada and I'm supposing things are different across the country.