I don't know about you, but for many folks 2016 was one hell of a year... and I don't mean that in a "fuck yah, rock on!" kinda way. What with its world catastrophes, political dramas, loss of so many beloved public figures and more, there sure are a lot more people than usual who are pleased as fuck to say #byefelicia to the previous year and ring in the new.
I for one had the hardest year of my life, battling grief from the death of my mom the preceding fall and the situational depression that came along with it. The lows were lower than I could have ever imagined. My body ached in physical and emotional pain. There were many moments I just wished it all would end.
Yup, 2016 was #notmyyear, and so many folks feel the same. We're ready for a shift, and this New Year serves as just the opportunity. For all you numerology heads out there, 2017 is a "one year," which is all about new beginnings and tapping into our unique talents so we can share our gifts with the world.
So, how can we harness this fresh energy and move into a space of love and light for ourselves and the world? There ain't no time like the present, so let's get to it.
Get Intentional this New Year
January is a time of new beginnings in the Western calendar. As the saying goes: new year, new you. This can be of particular importance when we're dealing with loss and grief. An opportunity to assess all we've endured, how we managed and how we plan to survive moving forward.
This is the perfect time for pure, unadulterated optimism. To wish and want the best for ourselves, our loved ones and the Universe as a whole. In order to hone in on the power of collective hope, we gotta get intentional. Making a list and letting it collect dust in your underwear drawer ain't gonna bring about change (wouldn't that be nice, though?).
You gotta be willing to put your heart and hands where your mouth is.
No, you gotta get right. Get clear. Get intentional. You gotta be willing to put your heart and hands where your mouth is. Not only dream big, but pull up those gumboots and get ready to get dirty, cuz creating change requires creating some mess. Oh yes.
Below are some of my tips to help you get clear on how to manifest a year and life free from the pain of loss and grief. A 2017 full of joy -- because you deserve it.
How to embrace 'new year, new you'
"New year, new you" is often a mantra reserved for the newly dedicated fitness freaks, said with a smile and a big swig of some diet drink. I'm not into any of that shit, though. If you need to lose a few pounds, by all means do you, but let's start by shedding the extra weight that's burdening our hearts. How? By setting a vision for our lives that helps us clear up what's holding us back and has us jumping out of our seats in anticipation for all that's to come. You in?
1. Dream. Fucking. Big.
The first step is to dream big. Like, really, massively, insanely, "pee yourself out of fear and excitement just thinking about it" type big. What are your absolute wildest dreams for yourself and your life? Who are you? What are you doing? What do you have (think tangible and intangible)? Who is surrounding you?
Challenge yourself to conjure up a vision for your life literally beyond your wildest dreams. Take the biggest, most badass dream you can think of, then go a step further. For example, "I cure the common cold and use all of the profits to end world hunger." If that's something remotely plausible for you, get fucking to it! The world needs you.
That said, dreaming big doesn't necessarily mean dreaming about massive, global accomplishments. A big vision for you can be as simple (and profound) as "I wake up joyful every morning." If you're going through a hard time (and 2016 came for us all really), then this is a major notion to envision. Marinate on all that is possible for your happiness and try to start living from that mind space. Then...
2. Set A Clear Vision. With Goals.
Get. Fucking. Clear. Write down your wildest dreams. Scribble it all down in one big, ugly, rambling, run-on sentence. Then put that shit on simmer until its clarified like butter. What do you want your life to look/feel/smell/sound/be like in 10 years time? Imagine yourself there, now. Then write that shit down. Start from 10 years in the future, and work your way backwards to this very moment.
What fears, limited beliefs, old patterns etc. do you need to work on/eliminate in order to live the life of your dreams in 10 years? What has to happen this year and the next? How about five years from now? Get real precise, for example: "I write a New York Times bestselling book about the rise of the divine feminine by March 31, 2019" or "I become a member of a kickass grief support group full of like-minded folks by Feb. 1, 2017."
Set lofty goals for your life (and again, a lofty goal for you right now may be as straightforward as "I get out of bed seven days a week"), then set achievable tasks, broken down by year, month or week to help you get there. Don't play small, though. Make sure whatever you choose to set for your vision and corresponding goals feels like a thrilling challenge (otherwise, what's the fucking point!?).
True, unabashed, shit-eating-grin kinda bliss takes work.
Write this out as many times as you need until it gets clear, then put it into a one-page final form you love (typed or handwritten) and post that shit everywhere. Your bathroom mirror, above your bed, in your office, all over the damn place so you read it on the regular and get inspired to "do you."
3. Do, Review, Repeat.
Now, you gotta put this vision into action. If you want to get to a place of joy. True, unabashed, shit-eating-grin kinda bliss takes work. As they say, "faith without works, is dead." Review your vision on the daily, let it stoke a fire in you and let that fire burn bright. If anything in your vision feels off, maybe its too small, or just not quite right, fix it! Your vision is a living, breathing thing, just like you. As you change, so will your vision (and hopefully shit will start lining up and soon you'll need to adjust your vision to account for all that you've already done!).
Want more tips and tools for creating a life full of joy, and free from loss and grief? Peep my personalized one-on-one coaching calls (including vision and goal-setting analysis) here and be sure to sign up for loss&found to claim your free e-book The Shit You Need to Know About Grief.
Wishing you a 2017 that'll knock your socks off... in the "fuck yah, rock on!" kinda way. xo R
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“Remember that Thanksgiving is a day,” Fear explained. “You don't want to get into ‘Thanksgiving Break’ mode for four or five days if that means overeating for that stretch of time, and shelving your physical activity habits.” Photo Credit: Shutterstock Click Here to Healthy Hacks to Help Keep Your Fitness Goals on Track this Thanksgiving
“You don't have to convert your festive dishes to bland ‘diet versions’ to make your meal significantly healthier,” Fear said. “If you want real butter and whole milk in your mashed potatoes, use them! Just taste them as you go, adding a little at a time, and stop once it tastes good. You might add a lot more calories and fat if you just drop a whole stick of butter in at the start.” Photo Credit: Shutterstock
“Enter a turkey trot in your town to see if you can beat your old PR in the 5K or 10K,” Fear said. “If you're not a runner but your spouse is, consider walking or volunteering. After a race, I always make a point to help out by picking up some of the ubiquitous paper cups that are often littering the ground. Besides lightening the cleanup task for the volunteers, it reminds me to stretch out my hamstrings and walk around a bit, before plopping into my car seat.” Photo Credit: Shutterstock Click Here to See Healthy Hacks to Help Keep Your Fitness Goals on Track this Thanksgiving
“Challenge yourself to try for an increase in your weights lifted at the gym, or see if you can increase the volume of your strength training routine by adding additional sets or reps with the weight you normally use,” Fear suggested. “Thanksgiving break can be a perfect time to challenge yourself athletically, when you have more time than usual to sleep and stretch, and you know you'll have abundant lean protein and carbohydrates around for recovery. Remember that even if you're in a calorie excess, you can be building muscle if you're lifting heavy.” Photo Credit: Shutterstock
“Slow down while you're eating,” Fear explained. “You'll enjoy your food more, take in more of the experience and be able to practice more gratitude if you aren't racing to get seconds before everyone else. You'll also end up being more mindful, and stop eating when you want to, as opposed to five minutes after you wanted to and having a bellyache.” Click Here to See Healthy Hacks to Help Keep Your Fitness Goals on Track this Thanksgiving Photo Credit: Shutterstock
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