In literally a matter of days my amazing, beautiful, warrior-wife will be in a delivery room surrounded by a doctors, nurses, our midwife team, myself and a lot of machines that go "ping". It is here that I will meet get to meet my twin girls for the first time.
Although I love them already, I cannot imagine how happy I will be to actually see them for the first time and hold them in my arms. Since that initial ultrasound, that revealed a shady image two babies, my wife and I have been sent into various stages of emotion-ranging from shock to joy (no, those will not be the names of our daughters). For months we have been anxiously awaiting their arrival. Presently, we have two children under the age of 5 so news of twins made us rethink every birthing plan we had prepared. There was a new game plan and we were so excited to enter this new adventure.
In the past months we have read books regarding birthing twins, joined multiple groups in our town, read blogs and connected online with others to share stories, concerns and advice. In this digital world, these resources have helped greatly to ease our mind, yet through it all I have noticed my wife and I have focused on the news of having twin girls very differently. Being the logical and calm one, my wife was very concerned and focused on the challenges we will face raising twins in the first months. Feeding and napping in an already busy household became a valid concern. Suddenly our list of things we needed had a times two beside everything. She was logically attacking the battles we were going to be facing in those early days of the girls' arrival.
Yet for some reason, from the initial news of twin girls I could not think of them as babies; instead my mind went to high school and the cliche images of me interrogating two boyfriends on their intentions. I time-traveled to two weddings and walking two beautiful women down the aisle. I looked ahead to the fact I will never send my twin girls to visit their older brothers in University; since I had this image of a salivating philosophy major trying to coax my daughter into his dorm room for some pizza he bought with his student food plan. But these thought were irrational to have at such an early stage. I let me male-mind drift into the world of hypothetical situations. I soon snapped out of it and embraced the thought that I was about to be a proud father of twin girls and there was no road map to show what twists, turns and detours may lay ahead. For a fleeting moment I let stress overshadow my joy.
Now I embrace the days ahead. I now have a major responsibility. I am responsible for having them grow up with a constant sense of wonder. I want them to explore the world around them by starting as small as the blades of grass in our backyard to one day, through their own travels, seeing all of the majestic, hidden corners of the world. I want them to cement in them the knowledge that they can accomplish anything with hard work, focus and heart. I want to show them the importance of being informed, opinionated and intelligent when living in a society that, at times, finds a pleasure in accepting mediocrity.
I want them to cherish the unique bond they will have by being born only minutes apart. I'm excited to watch their personalities form and mold the individuals they will become. I'll wish them happiness in all that they do and the decisions they will make. Never will I force them to show interest in something simply because their Papa (as I am known in my house) likes it. For example, I won't make them were Boston Bruin jerseys, since my five-year-old already takes great pride in wearing his Habs jersey in my presence. But I will pray that they do one thing for Papa.
A simple favour. It's not much to ask.
Love the unbelievable power and connection one gets from playing, writing, watching, listening and dancing to music. Girls, your Papa is a music junkie and is already anticipating that magical day where you will play me a band or artist you like. I look forward to a road trip where I play you some tunes that mattered to me and, even though I know you will be rolling your eyes at my tales, I will love sharing that moment with you. I cannot wait for you to experience the amazing, collective experience of a concert. Not a festival where people attend simply to be seen or to watch the numerous side-show acts of fire jugglers and circle-drummers; but a real concert experience. Where everyone has traveled there for the same reason and from that night they will take with them a memory or a story that will be revisited numerous times in later years.
So to my beautiful girls...
As you are presently kick and shift in your Mother's belly as the title of a kick-ass Nirvana album, I would like to present you with the first of many mix tapes your Papa plans to make for you. This one will have a running theme of strong, intelligent women who have written (in my humble opinion) some of the most powerful songs.
So until we meet...
let's press play.
Girls Rock - A Mix Tape for my Daughters
1. Tegan and Sara - Time Running - What better way to start than Canadian twins..that rock!
2.Brass in Pocket - The Pretenders
3. Crazy on You - Heart
4. Proud Mary - Tina Turner
5. Cry Baby - Janis Joplin
6. Violet - Hole
7. Help Me - Joni Mitchell
8. Mean and Evil - Dinah Washington
9. Hold On - Alabama Shakes
10. Crimson and Clover - Joan Jett and the Black Hearts
11. Heatwave - Martha and the Vandellas
1.Respect - Aretha Franklin
2. Hyper Ballad -Bjork
3.I Fall to Pieces - Patsy Cline
4. You Keep Me Hanging On - Diana Ross and the Supremes
5. Be My Baby - The Ronettes
6. Edge of Seventeen - Stevie Nicks
7. Somebody to Love - Jefferson Starship
8. I'll Take You There - The Staple Singers
9. Midnight Train to Georgia - Gladys Knight and the Pips
10. Fade into You - Mazzy Star
Like Chrissie Hynde says on Side A Track 2..
"You're special, so special."