I had all of these thoughts running in my head the morning after the verdict, really trying to process the results of the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman trial. I've read posts from outraged people, sad people, and trying to be peaceful people, but most of them black people and I wonder, I wish for a moment that this wasn't the world that I live in, that we deem the worth and the weight, the importance or the relevance of anything based on race.
I wish that one day we can be human and feel compassion for one another. I wish that when things like this happen that we see that we can all be angry and see the hand that we all have in creating and making these thoughts into reality and at the same time see how powerful we are to be able to transform that thought and energy into healing. I wish we could heal and truly love one another. Truly, truly, truly love one another.
This moment happened the way it happened, it's clear that George Zimmerman killed Trayvon Martin, we all know this and yet, I scroll through my timelines on Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and very few people that are not of colour are affected by this, crying out, hurt, frustrated, lost, scared, angry, wanting change, wishing for change. Makes me question, how this became just my problem? Or just a black problem? How has it also become just my responsibility to heal it? Like I was the only one involved? Like I created this system, like I perpetuate the festering sore in the system? Like I am the sole person, or people, to blame.
Fuck that. Come on really! Let's look at it logically, as humans that express feelings; if I am in a relationship and I am hurt by something that was said or done, I blame you? That's what we're taught to do. But that's not where the healing starts, that is not where it gets resolved. That's a surface bandage.
Or another scenario is, I am hurt by something that was said or done, and I am made to feel it's my fault and my responsibility to handle and deal with it and heal from it. That doesn't feel right either. The only time true healing can happen is when we walk out into the world and open our hearts and ourselves to be vulnerable, allow the things that we don't want to admit to doing or being the truth of any situation to come forth and give this to the other person who is open and willing in the same energy to make that change, and truly dig into the depths of what it is and forgive forgive forgive for we do things and say things that we mean in the moment or we think we mean in the moment, but that's all based on our reactions to another's action triggered from a past experience compounded with methods of dealing with these issues from our parents, parents' parents and so on and so on.
We carry the world's hopes and fears each and every time we walk out into the world. That's a lot of shit that we're trying to wade through to get to the essence of who and what we are. That's a lot of noise to shut out. That's a lot of misunderstandings. That's a lot of he said / she said. That's a lot of a lot. So where do we start. I've got to start by wishing and being the change I want to see in this world. I have a right to be angry, we all do. I have a right to be sad, we all do. I have a right to be frustrated and feel lost, but we must know that we can move past this. We have the ability to change this. We have the power, the spirit, and the heart to change this.
It starts with feeling. Feeling what it's like to be Trayvon Martin, who is walking around with a target on his back and acting accordingly by lashing out and fighting for what he felt was unjust. Feeling what it's like to be George Zimmerman who felt that he was doing his part by protecting his neighbourhood and himself from what he felt to be a threat, because that's all he knows. That's what he believes.
I'm not condoning either of their actions, I'm trying to see the humanity and justice in him getting away with killing someone based on what he believed to be a threat based on everything in the world being in disarray, diseased, unhealed. We're walking around with noise, we're a schizophrenic group of people, listening to the voices inside our head, on the television, in music, from history, energetically. We're trying to wade through the noise. I'm going to keep wishing for the day that we can see each other as equal, and feel the pains of each other, feel the frustrations and confusions of each other, the fears of each other as our own. I wish for the day when we stop blaming one another. I wish for the day when we all use the love that we have in our beings for our loved ones and allow that love to spill over into the world without discerning who deserves it.
We all deserve to be loved and give love. We need healing, true healing. Deep healing. I wish for healing at the deepest level. It's going to hurt, it's going to kill, but in order for us to truly overcome, we've got to get into the ugly shit and hear each other out. Feel it. Understand it. Know our part in it. Accept our part in it. Let it move within us and move on. Let go. Forgive and move on. Move beyond this to become the clear, brilliant loving spirits that we are destined to be.
<strong>Feb. 19, 2012</strong> -- Trayvon Martin, 17, and Tracy, his father, travel from Miami Gardens to Sanford, Fla., to visit the elder Martin's fiancee in her townhome at The Retreat at Twin Lakes. <em>Photo courtesy of <a href="http://www.globalgrind.com" target="_blank">globalgrind.com</a></em>
<strong>Feb. 26, 2012</strong> -- Trayvon Martin is walking to the home of his father's fiancee after purchasing items from a 7-Eleven store in Sanford. George Zimmerman, a neighborhood watch volunteer, spots Martin at approximately 7 p.m. and calls police. "We've had some break-ins in my neighborhood, and there's a real suspicious guy," Zimmerman tells police.
<strong>Feb. 26, 2012</strong> -- Roughly seven minutes after Zimmerman's call to police, authorities receive a 911 call from an individual reporting a fight. During the call, the dispatcher hears a gunshot in the background and sends police units to the location. Responding officers discover that Martin has been shot in the chest. The teen is unresponsive and pronounced dead at the scene. Police find no identification on Martin and label him a John Doe.
<strong>Feb. 26, 2012</strong> -- Questioned by police, Zimmerman informs them that Martin attacked him and he fired his gun in self-defense. Authorities confiscate Zimmerman's 9 mm semi-automatic pistol and take him to the Sanford Police Department for further questioning.
<strong>Feb. 27, 2012</strong> -- Following a lengthy interview, George Zimmerman is released from the police station at approximately 1 a.m. Hours later, Tracy Martin contacts police to report his son missing. Investigators soon connect the dots and inform the elder Martin of his son's death. After receiving treatment from a family doctor, Zimmerman meets with investigators and reenacts the events of the shooting at the crime scene.
<strong>March 8, 2012</strong> -- Tracy Martin holds a press conference, during which he criticizes the investigation into his son's slaying. "We feel justice hasn't been served," Martin tells reporters.
<strong>March 9, 2012</strong> -- Martin family attorney Benjamin Crump tells the Miami Herald he is filing a lawsuit for the release of public records in the case.
<strong>March 10, 2012</strong> -- Members of the New Black Panther Party, contending there has been a "miscarriage of justice," rally outside the Sanford Police Department.
<strong>March 12, 2012</strong> -- Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee holds a press conference, at which he claims that investigators were unable to arrest Zimmerman because he was protected by Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law, which allows residents to shoot someone if they reasonably believe they are being threatened. "There is no evidence to dispute Zimmerman's assertion that he shot Martin out of self-defense," Lee says. In response, Martin's parents, Tracy Martin and Sybrina Fulton, post a petition on the Change.org website calling for State Attorney Angela Corey to prosecute Zimmerman. The petition quickly garners support from multiple celebrities and receives nearly 900,000 signatures the first week.
<strong>March 13, 2012</strong> -- In a letter to U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, the NAACP expresses doubt in the Sanford Police Department's ability to appropriately handle the investigation, asking the Department of Justice to review the case. "The NAACP has no confidence that, absent federal oversight, the Sanford Police Department will devote the necessary degree of care to its investigation," the letter says. Sanford police announce the completion of their investigation and turn the case over to the State Attorney's Office for Brevard and Seminole Counties. "Trayvon Martin and his family, interested persons, and the public-at-large are entitled to no less than a thorough, deliberate and just review of the information provided, along with any other evidence that may or may not be developed in the course of the review process," State Attorney Norm Wolfinger's office says in a statement.
<strong>March 14, 2012</strong> -- Mary Cutcher, a woman listed in police reports as a witness who heard Martin's shooting, <a href="http://www.wftv.com/news/news/witness-sanford-police-blew-us-teen-slaying/nLSqk/" target="_blank">tells WFTV.com that police took only a short statement from her</a> following the shooting. "[The police] blew us off, and I called back again and I said, 'I know this was not self-defense. There was no punching, no hitting going on at the time, no wrestling,'" says Cutcher.
<strong>March 15, 2012</strong> -- Sanford police issue a statement calling Mary Cutcher's TV interviews "inconsistent" with her sworn testimony. Meanwhile, Zimmerman's father, Robert, tells the Orlando Sentinel that his son has been unfairly portrayed as a racist.
<strong>March 16, 2012</strong> -- Sanford police release eight 911 recordings in the case. One of the recordings includes a voice in the background screaming, "Help, help!" The screams are followed by the sound of a gunshot.
<strong>March 19, 2012</strong> -- The Justice Department and the FBI announce they have opened an investigation into the shooting.
<strong>March 20, 2012</strong> -- State Attorney Norm Wolfinger announces that a Seminole County, Fla., grand jury will review the circumstances of Martin's death.
<strong>March 21, 2012</strong> -- The Sanford City Commission votes "no confidence" in Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee and calls for his resignation.
<strong>March 22, 2012</strong> -- Sanford Police Chief Bill Lee holds a press conference and announces he is temporarily stepping down as police chief because his presence is a "distraction." State Attorney Norm Wolfinger recuses himself from the case and Florida Gov. Rick Scott announces that another state attorney, Jacksonville-based Angela Corey, will be replacing Wolfinger as special prosecutor in the investigation. Meanwhile, Rev. Al Sharpton, Martin Luther King III and other civil rights leaders and politicians hold a justice rally at Sanford's Fort Mellon Park. They demand an arrest in Martin's shooting. An estimated 10,000 people attend the event.
<strong>March 23, 2012</strong> -- President Barack Obama tells reporters that the nation needs to do some "soul-searching to figure out how something like this happens." He adds, "If I had a son, he'd look like Trayvon."
<strong>March 24, 2012</strong> -- Members of the New Black Panther Party offer a $10,000 reward for the "capture" of Zimmerman.
<strong>March 25, 2012</strong> -- Rev. Jesse Jackson speaks in Eatonville and encourages revisions to Florida's "Stand Your Ground" law. "If it's a moment, we go home. If it's a movement, we go to war," says Jackson.
<strong>March 26, 2012</strong> -- Police release new details of the investigation, saying Zimmerman told them Martin punched him and slammed his head into the sidewalk several times. Acting Police Chief Darren Scott takes over as chief of the Sanford Police Department. Thousands of people gather in Sanford to mark one month since Martin was killed.
<strong>March 29, 2012</strong> -- Zimmerman's brother, Robert Zimmerman Jr., tells CNN that medical records will prove his brother was attacked and his nose was broken.
<strong>April 3, 2012</strong> -- Florida State Sen. Chris Smith (D-Fort Lauderdale) announces the formation of a task force to review the state's "Stand Your Ground" law.
<strong>April 8, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman launches the website "The Real George Zimmerman" to raise money for his defense.
<strong>April 9, 2012</strong> -- State Attorney Angela Corey announces her decision not to use a grand jury in the Martin investigation. The move eliminates the possibility of a first-degree murder charge.
<strong>April 10, 2012</strong> -- Zimmerman's attorneys, Hal Uhrig (right) and Craig Sonner, announce that they will no longer be representing him.
<strong>April 11, 2012</strong> - State Attorney Angela Corey announces the charging of George Zimmerman with second-degree murder. Zimmerman turns himself in to police and is booked into the Seminole County Jail. Mark O'Mara announces his role as Zimmerman's new attorney.
<strong>April 23, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman's new lawyer, Mark O'Mara, enters a not-guilty plea on his client's behalf. Zimmerman is released from jail on a $150,000 bond. Per the conditions of his release, Zimmerman is required to wear a GPS monitoring device.
<strong>April 24, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman shuts down his website. According to his attorney, the site raised $200,000.
<strong>April 27, 2012</strong> -- Mark O'Mara launches the website GZLegalCase.com as the official site for Zimmerman's legal case.
<strong>May 8, 2012</strong> -- At Zimmerman's arraignment, Seminole County Circuit Judge Kenneth Lester Jr. accepts his not-guilty plea.
<strong>May 17, 2012</strong> -- Prosecutors release police reports, witness statements, surveillance videos and other evidence in the case.
<strong>June 1, 2012</strong> -- Judge Lester revokes Zimmerman's bond, stating that his ruling is based on concerns that Zimmerman and his wife did not fully disclose their finances at the bond hearing.
<strong>June 3, 2012</strong> -- Zimmerman is returned to jail.
<strong>June 12, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman's wife, Shellie, is arrested on one count of perjury.
<strong>June 20, 2012</strong> -- The Sanford city manager fires Bill Lee from the police force.
<strong>June 21, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman's legal team releases discovery evidence on their client's website.
<strong>June 29, 2012</strong> -- Zimmerman's second bond hearing is held. The judge does not immediately issue a ruling.
<strong>July 5, 2012</strong> -- Judge Lester grants Zimmerman a higher bond of $1 million.
<strong>July 6, 2012</strong> -- Zimmerman is again released from jail.
<strong>July 19, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman relaunches his personal website.
<strong>July 27, 2012</strong> -- George Zimmerman's wife pleads not guilty to perjury.
<strong>Aug. 29, 2012</strong> -- An appeals court grants a request by George Zimmerman's defense team to dismiss Judge Lester from the case.
<strong>Aug. 30, 2012</strong> -- Circuit Judge Debra S. Nelson is assigned the case.
<strong>Oct. 19, 2012</strong> -- Judge Nelson grants a defense motion requesting access to Trayvon Martin's school records and social media posts. The state is also granted access to Zimmerman's medical records.
<strong>Nov. 14, 2012</strong> -- Gov. Scott's "Stand Your Ground" task force concludes its final meeting and recommends no sweeping changes to the law.
<strong>Nov. 20, 2012</strong> -- Former Casey Anthony attorney Jose Baez announces that he is representing Sanford police Detective Chris Serino, the lead investigator in the shooting.
<strong>Dec. 3, 2012</strong> -- A new photo is released showing George Zimmerman with a bloody, broken nose on the night of the shooting.
<strong>Feb. 5, 2013</strong> -- On this day, Trayvon Martin would have turned 18.
<strong>Feb. 26, 2013</strong> -- Martin's parents hold a rally in his memory to mark the one-year anniversary of his death.
<strong>March 26, 2013</strong> -- Zimmerman's defense team releases its witness list of 134 people, including Sanford police officers and 56 unnamed witnesses.
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