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2016 Critics' Choice Awards: Furious With Mad Max: Fury Road

01/18/2016 01:10 EST | Updated 01/18/2017 05:12 EST
Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP
Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, from left, Abbey Lee Kershaw, Zoe Kravitz, Courtney Eaton, and Riley Keogh pose in the press room with the award for best director for "Mad Max: Fury Road" which they accepted on behalf of George Miller at the 21st annual Critics' Choice Awards at the Barker Hangar on Sunday, Jan. 17, 2016, in Santa Monica, Calif. (Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP)

Did I watch the Critics' Choice Awards or the Mad Max: Fury Road Awards? I think it was the latter of the two, because the film took home all of the awards -- and when I say all of the awards, I mean all of the awards. Saverina is not happy.

Let's be real. The movie was a twisted piece crap. A lot of fans will argue that it took a very long time (pfft, 10 years is not that long) to film and a very old dude directed it, so I should shut it. Well, you know what? I am not going to shut it. I am going to dump out all of my feelings via a Huffington Post Blogs article, because that is what kids these days do.

Maybe I can't appreciate the film because I almost never watch these kinds of films. Or maybe there are more deserving films. You be the judge. Sure, the cinematography was on-point. Costumes were alright. Acting was meh. Tom Hardy was hot. Plot was zero. Like, I am 97 per cent sure there was not a plot.

If I were to explain to someone what Mad Max: Fury Road was about, it would go a little bit like this (spoiler alert):

It follows a dude named Max who is mad and teams up with badass Charlize Theron. They, along with models pretending to be actresses, drive down this long road of dust, and there are these twisted people in funky clothing and makeup, and somehow Charlize Theron ends up on her knees crying in a desert. At least that is what I took from the two hours of my life that I will never get back.

My point is that Ridley Scott (The Martian) or Alejandro G. Innaritu (The Revenant) should have won Best Director over George Miller. Mad Max: Fury Road strikes me as more of an MTV Movie Award-worthy movie. I did not think it would get this much love at real award shows. So help me God if it wins any more awards.

And very quickly, a couple of more shockers: Spotlight took home Best Ensemble and Best Picture, Rachael McAdams beat out Kate Winslet for Best Supporting Actress, The Big Short took Best Comedy and Christian Bale won Best Actor in a Comedy. I actually feel much better about the whole Mad Max: Fury Road thing now that I got that all out of my system.

It was quite a night and I don't know if I'm prepared to handle what's in store for the rest of award season. I have two weeks to rest up for the SAGs (Screen Actors Guild Awards) and then it's time for the real MVP of award season... The Oscars!

Okay, time to get some shut-eye. Saverina out.

P.S. If you aren't tired of me yet, feel free to check out a full recap at www.saverinascozzari.com

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