The honeymoon phase is officially over and you've reached that dreaded relationship milestone: you just had your first big fight. While butting heads with the guy you love is something you'd probably like to avoid, a good old-fashioned argument can actually be a healthy thing. Unless you're fighting non-stop, hurling insults and then going days without even a text (much less a resolution), the occasional tiff can do more for your relationship than simply keeping your mouth shut. Here's why jumping into the ring with your guy (not literally -- we don't recommend that) can make you closer, and happier in the long run:
It Clears the Air
As long as you're actually listening to what the other is saying, and not trying to yell over each other, talking things out and dealing with differences can be kind of like relationship therapy. By getting it off your chest and out in the open, you'll stop little things from festering and growing and then exploding one day over something tiny (like the annoying way he chews his Cheerios). Think of yourself as a volcano -- holding everything in is really not the best move for either of you.
It's Productive
Everyone knows that communication is key in any relationship. You can't date someone (and keep dating them) without knowing each other's limits. Your man needs to know about the things he does that you don't appreciate and you need to know what you do that isn't cool with him. Even if it's something small, like an innocent comment taken the wrong way, anything that ruffles any feathers needs to be addressed. It isn't about changing who you are, it's about being considerate, and working together to make things the best they can be.
It Builds Trust
When a couple never fights, it doesn't mean that they have some perfect, harmonious thing going -- more than likely, someone is just too scared to say how they really feel. If you're comfortable enough to let your man in on what's going on in your head (and vice-versa), you can say hello to a much deeper, more meaningful relationship. You really don't want to be "walking on eggshells," feeling ignored, disrespected and unable to tell each other what bothers you.
It Gets Better
Don't ever expect to stop arguing altogether, because, let's face it, there will be also something you'll disagree on, but learning to iron out any problems as they come up can help change the way you fight in the long run. With practice, you'll know how to tackle these little tiffs in a much kinder and easier way (this means leaving the whole childish name-calling, blaming, sarcastic behaviour out of it). As long as you have respect for each other and genuinely want to work things out, you'll be able to get past any bump in the road, no matter how big or small -- and that's a great feeling (and let's be honest, the make-up sex doesn't hurt either).
Written by Melissa Hayes for 29Secrets.com
Follow 29Secrets on Twitter: www.twitter.com/29Secrets
Everyone has friends, how often do you fight with your friends? Likely such is pretty rare or you wouldn't have any friends.
We have families, get married & have children, then suddenly a divorce occurs. Now here's the interesting part, both spouses continue to claim they love the children, why? There's no magic bond between parents & children. Yet you claimed to love your spouse when you got married. What happened to that love?
There's nothing wrong with disagreements, but once such get heated, that's not a good thing for any relationship.
Maybe not a “magic” bond but certainly a scientific one. Evolutionarily, it is quite obvious that a child whose parents protect them unequivocally (read love them) are more likely to survive and thus procreate themselves passing on their genes. Essentially survival of the fittest has ensured that we are more than likely to care and protect our children. As can be witnessed by thousands of species all over the globe. In a very general sense, there is no such bond between partners because they can’t pass on our genes. They are required to procreate with, and there are multiple other facets that their assistance can ensure a child’s survival. But the bond with them is not nearly so critical for the survival of our genes after procreation, than the bond with our children. So not magic, but there is a reason that the vast majority of people have a special bond with their children.
I made it all sound so romantic didn’t I?
No bond as in love exists between child & parent, nor has one ever been proven to exist.
Millions of children are raised by complete strangers & never notice a difference. If their was some type of bond people would notice don't you think.
All that exists is that parent protection instinct.