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Selena Cameron

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What Working Moms Really Want From Employers

Posted: 08/09/2012 8:06 am

When my colleague, Tonie Chaltas, was quoted in a recent article about women supporting other women at work, it got me thinking: Do companies who value their female workforce appreciate that those who are also mothers need special support? Are there other employers in Canada like Hill+Knowlton Strategies (H+K) -- where I've worked for 12 years -- who value their working-mom employees enough to design benefits just for them? And what are they doing to help them succeed?

All too often, I think we get caught up in details of success that don't actually mean much to moms. I care far less about having a smartphone than I do about the option of using that smartphone to work from home when one of my kids is sick. It's an extra step, but an important one.

When I joined the firm in 2000, I was childless. I didn't join the company for maternity leave benefits or a flexible schedule. I was a consultant, keen to work hard, learn and grow. At that time, being nurtured as a woman employee meant something entirely different; I was eager to work in other cities and H+K helped me tick that box by hiring me in its London, UK office. That experience kept me interested and loyal.

Fast forward a few years, a few promotions and a few kids. As the vice-president of corporate development for our Canadian offices, and the mother of three boys under six years of age, the support I now need to feel nurtured and engaged at work has done a 180.

To be able to properly focus on my work, I need to know that I've put my kids first -- ensuring their needs are met, ensuring they're getting enough of me. I need to know that if one of my sons needs me in an instant, I can go to him -- and do it without feeling guilty. I need to know that I'll be pushed out the office door to make it on time to doctor's appointments and school meetings.

Yes, they're little things. But maybe to moms, that's what counts the most. It's all of these things added together that keep working moms working. Passionately. Sanely.

Work is fulfilling for women, and it satisfies something important inside of us. But once you become a parent, you realize that for it to remain fulfilling there has to be a balance. I can't be fully present in a meeting, for example, if I'm worried that I rushed off too quickly that morning when I dropped my kids off at school because I was afraid that I'd get looked at sideways if I didn't walk through the door by 9 a.m.

Engagement, you see, is as much about the work itself as it is about the environment in which I do the work.

What I think working moms truly appreciate is flexibility without trade-offs. Whether that's telecommuting, a reduced work week, flex hours to accommodate carpools, or a designated work-from-home day, it seems to me that employers who offer these benefits to working moms will find themselves with highly motivated employees who are extremely productive. Because they know how good they have it. Because they're excited to contribute. Because they want to succeed.

 

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11:02 PM on 08/18/2012
Flexibility without trade-offs is such a terrific concept. And employers that offer flexibility to working moms and dads quickly learn that when a parent feels they can respond to the most important people in their lives - when needed - they are better and more efficient workers. Love the juxtaposition between your career pre an post children. Jamee Tenzer, shesarealmother.com
10:26 AM on 08/13/2012
Third (and finally), "special 'support' for working mothers translates into a lessened productivity at the expense of non-parent co-workers." Really? This is NOT my experience, and I've been on both sides. In fact, I was on the non-parental side longer than I've been on the parental side. I can only speak from personal experience, but knowing that my employer trusts me to do my work means that I damn well do it - even if that means logging on late at night. This is also about fostering a team environment where everyone's needs are met - not just the moms' and dads' needs - and wanting to do your fair share because you value your workmates. Just remember that sometimes the extra hours can seem invisible because they're done at home; but it doesn't mean the extra work to make up time isn't being done.
10:25 AM on 08/13/2012
Second, as someone else who works for H+K, I can assure you that Selena doesn't get "special nurturing" because she's upper management; I've been here since 2005 and have seen working parents get wonderfully generous treatment. The parental flexibility is the main reason I am still there after all these years. I am not management; I don't make six figures. H+K valued me enough to let me come back four days/wk after my first child was born, and after I came back from my second maternity leave, they accommodated a three-day work week, where I work from home two of those three days. I'm sorry to those of you who've never worked at a company where you've felt nurtured - for whatever reason. Whether you fall ill, have a death in the family, birth a few babies or find yourself with an elderly parent who needs your attention - it would be nice for you to feel nurtured, wouldn't it? Maybe it's the word "nurtured" that you're hung up on. Perhaps for those of you who've been in the workforce 35 years and have never been with a company who provides this kind of environment, it's hard to understand that we SHOULD feel entitled to work/life balance. But it bears repeating: we should. We work our butts off, and if I need a couple of hours off in the afternoon to see my kid "graduate" from preschool, why shouldn't I feel entitled to ask for that?
11:18 AM on 08/09/2012
What about Dads? No mention of fathers that want to be just as involved or ARE just as involved in the child's life as the mother. Companies have to realize that they have to be flexible for BOTH parents, not just mothers. How bout an article about how dads are seemingly just expected to work their arses off and not be involved or get scolded at work when they want to take time off to be more involved for family time.
12:00 PM on 08/09/2012
Agree completely. Working dads deserve at least the same kind of flexibility and support. I can only speak to my experience, but would love to read about yours.
12:33 PM on 08/09/2012
Oh, come come now. Everybody knows that there isn't a father alive that drops their children off at school or summer camp. Big issue at the doctors office or perhaps some shots to be administered no dad cares about that. And, of course, if the child is so sick there isn't a father that exists that calls into work to care for that child (and try to get some work done at home).

Few of the people pushing this very worthwhile agenda seem to realize that by uniting mothers and fathers more headway will be made, more quickly. And truly unfortunate are those who make men (many of whom are fathers) the enemy.
03:31 PM on 08/09/2012
Absolutely. It's about a shift in "face time" attitudes that allow us to manage expectations on both sides at home and at the office with female and male colleagues.

And, on today of all days, my husband did actually drop my kids off at camp and take one to a doctor's appointment. So, flexibility has to go both ways.
11:16 AM on 08/09/2012
P.S. Selena, I'm not sure why you feel entitled to be "nurtured" by your employer. I must have missed that during my 35 years in the workforce. But you're the six figure pooh bah, not me. So you must be worth "nurturing".
07:17 PM on 08/09/2012
I'm so disappointed to read A Little Birdy's comments. I understand you've been in the workforce for 35 years and that things have changed, but don't we want to create a better environment for the next generation? Isn't is a positive thing to have our careers nurtured, regardless of age, gender, marital status etc? I'm sad to read that you were never nurtured - I can't imagine working somewhere where I wasn't given opportunities based on my talents and my contributions (and NOT based on the amount of face time I put in). For me, it's about quality over quantity.
I'm not a working mother, but have a number of working moms working for me. The point of this article is about providing flexible options. No one is expecting others to 'pick up the slack'. One of the dads on my team leaves the office every day at 4.30pm so he can pick his daughter up from her after school program. He then has dinner with his family, and logs back on to work after 8pm. He loves the flexibility and opportunity to work FULL HOURS, but in his time. Deadlines are never missed and he's one of the greatest assets on my team.
Life is changing, the world is changing, and you had better get on board before you get left behind with your bitterness and unfair attitude towards people with different experiences from yourself. Diversity is king!
09:37 AM on 08/10/2012
Rort, I think you missed my point. I am a product of my generation. We weren't "nurtured" but more importantly we didn't/don't expected to be. Yes, things are changing and flexibility is a god send to working parents and I'm all for it. I'd like to have more vacation time too, maybe more money and a four day work week. But for employers who don't have the type of business that allows for flexibility, accommodating working parents can be tricky. It can effect efficiency and fall to other employees. That's just a reality of accommodating anyone who is unable to be as focused on their job as others.

The woman who wrote this article is a high powered upper management person who is evidently significant enough that her employers will work around her schedule. Most people are cogs in a machine and are expendable. I'm not saying it's "fair" (I really hate that word) I'm saying it's a reality.

In this economy, many businesses are struggling and lost productivity can make or break them. They all do not have the luxury of "nurturing" their employees.

I was raised by parents who developed their work ethic in the 50s and 60s as young adults and they passed that ethic to me. So all this "nurturing" stuff is way new to me and way after my time. That's all.
11:13 AM on 08/09/2012
The problem is, special "support" for working mothers translates into a lessened productivity at the expense of non-parent co-workers which creates a lot of resentment from people who show up and pick up the slack for working mothers. I've been on both sides of the coin as both a working mother and now the mother of adult children. I see the working mothers coming in late and leaving early to get their over scheduled children to all their events while the rest of us stay when the need arises. Child rearing is different now. It's not raising children, it's engineering them and it's a lot more work than it was when mine were little. Picking up the slack for a mother of a sick child is one thing. Staying late while they leave early for yet another super child function is another.

So I see both sides. But the reality is that "support" means lessened work load and more flexible hours at the expense of non-parenting employees. What the answer is I don't know but when mine were little, there was no discussion. You had to have your butt in that chair, no questions asked. We managed somehow though, I know I did, but it was indeed very hard and very lonely at times.
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11:05 AM on 08/09/2012
That would be dreamy.
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RalphJoseph
nothing is as it appears to be nor is it otherwise
10:39 AM on 08/09/2012
For most middle class working women what you describe is a fantasy dream world.
With the direction the right is taking this country women will be working 10 hours a day 7 days a week with no benefits.
09:53 AM on 08/09/2012
How is that different from working dads? everyone wants the flexability to adjust thier work schedule or work from home. If employers can't treat men and women the same then maybe that is justifacation for paying women less than men.
08:56 AM on 08/09/2012
I'd take it a step further and say that everything you're talking about should apply to all working parents - moms and dads. Dads shouldn't be given confused looks when they say they have to leave work to pick their sick child up from school, as if this should be the mom's job.