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How to Keep Your New Year's Resolution

Posted: 12/28/2012 8:09 am

This New Year your only resolution will be to change one habit. That's it. And, if you do it well many, many other habits will follow and you won't even have to think about it. Want to know the secret?

All habits are created for the same reason and they can either serve you well or poorly. says Charles Duhigg, who wrote The Power of Habit. Either way, you have created them because there is some payoff. With negative habits, all "reasons" are excuses to justify that payoff so you can hate me (or Duhigg) if you want or you can choose to find another payoff. It's up to you. I will like you either way and remind you again on many occasions.

Payoff

Choose the tough hotspot hurdle: your keystone habit. See what your brain just did? It picked the hard one (Exercise? Give up chips? No snacking after dinner? Eat more vegetables?) and then instantly rationalized why changing that habit won't work for you. That excuse is your payoff. Figure out what you get out of that bad habit and we are getting somewhere. You are no different than anyone else, sorry.

The reasons are quite common:

• Can't get exercise, I have no time (try this...)
• I've tried to give up chips before, it doesn't last long
• I get so hungry after dinner and besides, it is my only vice
• I hate vegetables and they take so much time to prepare (try this...)

Rest assured, others have broken these habits and felt better for it, there is a cascade of positivity that happens when you overcome such hurdles. But there is a system that must be employed to be successful. It is simple.

Replace

Once you discover the payoff, you must replace the habit. Simple willpower in shutting it down doesn't work. This applies to every habit in your life and once you know how to manage it, you will know how to change just about everything from nail biting to back biting.

Systematic

Now that you have chosen your replacement habit you need to give yourself a cue and a system to start the new habit. Pick the same time each day and do the new thing routinely.

Leave your sneakers in full view, leave your veggies chopped and arranged at the front of the fridge. Do not "re-decide" each day. It isn't an option. Exercise can start with a five minute walk to the mailbox but once you are there, you will find that you want to do one more lap. The trick is to never, ever let yourself off the hook for those five minutes. Ever. They will grow on their own.

This habit we have in North America of making resolutions and laughing at ourselves for breaking them is our collective way of accepting the status quo. But the cream of the crop manage to make enough change to stay on top. You can too.

 

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This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
11:44 PM on 12/29/2012
A plan is what is monumental for anyone that wants to grow in life. To have someone to embrace and love you in the process, is true love.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
11:39 PM on 12/29/2012
Thank you. It can work.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
11:25 PM on 12/29/2012
A great post. Habits are a normality for so many. It is an enigma based on what you have been taught /and or believe. Who we become, is an interpretation of such, and the greatness within.
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Joseph Burgo PhD
Clinical Psychologist, Blogger
07:34 PM on 12/29/2012
As a clinical psychologist, I find that the reason most people fail to keep their New Year's Resolutions is that the "bad habits" they vow to renounce often serve as a means of warding off unconscious feelings they're unprepared to face. Here's my take:

http://www.afterpsychotherapy.com/new-years-resolutions
04:18 PM on 12/29/2012
yes, one must go through annual horoscope
http://www.freeastrologyvedic.com/annual-horoscope.php
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05:56 AM on 12/29/2012
...never attempt to give up chips. (It's just not humanly possible.)
garystartswithg
el sueno de la razon produce republicans
08:03 PM on 12/29/2012
lol -- i gave up chips, want to know how? i started walking to the store with a backpack and they take up 1/2 the backpack. if you want to be serious about food you need and don't need carry it home on your back --
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06:03 AM on 12/30/2012
...v useful suggestion. (I live in the (used to be) industrial Midwest--if you don't have a vehicle, you don't eat. :o)
09:18 PM on 12/28/2012
It's entirely possible to keep New Year's Resolutions but I find with my clients the most important part of keeping them is finding the reason why you're doing them in the first place. Find a strong purpose. Not just one you can create a picture of in your head but one that keeps you excited about the end result. Then keep that in view every day. Put it on a Vision Board, write a quick daily story about it, record an audio of you living the end result and play it to yourself before you go to sleep... Whatever works for you. Then they are easy to keep.

Without a purpose you're passionate about, the goal flies away on the wind.
garystartswithg
el sueno de la razon produce republicans
08:11 PM on 12/29/2012
i quit smoking with the simple mantra that i was paying people to kill me, and that really hit home for me when i finally accepted it. food addictions are pretty much the same. corporate food doesn't care if you are healthy, they just want your money. i don't know how you make that point more clear.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Walter Duff
Sepo meliora
09:00 PM on 12/28/2012
My advice to all those dithering on what should be resolved or not, is this: plan not to have a plan./
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05:12 PM on 12/28/2012
I'll bet Theresa wouldn't immediately see the connection between her post and what I do (planning consulting for business) but it is there nevertheless. And while her terms and approach to her subject is different from mine, strip away the language differences and there is more similarities than differences.

It's all about change.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MN in OH
12:22 PM on 12/28/2012
It works.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
bikelady1
Believe 1/2 of what u see, nothing of what u hear
11:15 AM on 12/28/2012
Best way to keep a news yers resolution is resolve to not make one in the first place.
11:08 AM on 12/28/2012
Make a New Year's resolution that really matters — invite anyone to hit you in the face with a pie or squirt seltzer, anytime and without warning. Look for "Pie Yourself Free" on Facebook. Join us!
Vampire111
FiscalConservSociallib-constitutionalist
09:32 AM on 12/28/2012
The secret to making and keeping new years resolutions is to not make any. I resolve not to make any resolutions. check back with me next year and ill let you know how ive done..Im optomistic