It breaks my heart to see a child struggling with normal kid activities because they are overweight.
As a nutritionist, I know the path that child is involuntarily on and the terrible set-up that his current lifestyle truly is. Still, I have stood in line behind that overweight family and watched the responsible adults order for the child exactly what they should be avoiding.
These pre-pubescent children are the size and shape of 40-year-olds and the 40-year-olds taking care of them can't see it. But do I intervene? Nope. Do I step up and say, "They do have salads here you know, perhaps that's a better option".
No. Instead, I stand there feeling nauseated and worried for the child. I look away; it's none of my business, right?
I heard a story recently that stopped me in my tracks. One overweight nine-year-old was told by another, fitter boy, "If you don't stop eating those fries and pop, you will get fatter".
It may have been the "er" that did him in. I know it was painful to hear. I also believe that the comment was not intended to hurt, it was intended to help, but still, the damage was done.
The fry-eating boy was hurt; the commenter boy was baffled. Both mothers were mortified, each for their own reason. Everyone left the situation stunned.
But the truth was told here and it shouldn't have been shocking. In some ways, it may have provided a defining moment for the french-fry-eating boy that could positively change the course of his life. The content of the comment should have been something he had heard before and not news. The person delivering the information should have been someone whom the boy loved and trusted and delivered in a gentler fashion, but it wasn't.
Some poor, honest, straight-shooting kid had to do it. The brave deliverer of the bad news learned the worst lesson, I am afraid. Don't tell the truth. Look away and pretend you don't notice because that's what we do in our culture when we are afraid to hurt someone's feelings. Even though, doing so gently could save them a whole lot of pain in the long run.
I am not sure that I will react any differently the next time I stand witness to the fast-food abuse. I don't know that there is any reasonable way to react in this one on one and personal situation. After all, if I take the most hopeful interpretation of the moment, this really could be the only time all year that the child in question gets his burger, fries with gravy and a shake.
I doubt it but I have to tell myself that in order to be able to swallow my own lunch. Plus, I'm just not sure what else to do. I am open to any ideas.
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Sometimes you have to choose between imperfect systems, and an absence of starvation is preferable to an absence of obesity. I will batch-cook from scratch as well, but this really is just telling people who are poor to work harder. Raise the top income rate by three percent and use that revenue to build affordable and easily accessible gyms, raise the minimum wage and shorten the maximum work week by three hours, subsidize only micro-nutrient rich fruits and vegetables and you'll do a lot more to combat obesity than lecturing the poor on their choices.
Umm, more like the MAJORITY of us dont have access, and yet millions of people still find ways to eat healthy and not make excuses.
You also used the word 'less' as if that is equal to 'NO'. It's not. Just because you have less time, doesn't mean you don't have any time. Americans on average watch more than 4 hours of TV a day, don't you think they could find the extra 30 min to make a meal?
You also said I 'defy' you to feed a family of 4 on $40 a day to eat healthy.
So I googled " feeding a family of 4 on a tight budget " and what to you know:
288,000 results showed up including
-How to feed a family of 4 for under $100/week
The list included
bananas
apples
green peppers
broccoli
carrots
rice
beans
lean chicken
ground beef
oatmeal
milk
cheese
eggs
Treats were
tea
popcorn
ice cream on occassion
etc etc
This was w/o coupons, dented can savings, shopping seasonally. Doing so would be even cheaper.
Soooo the same healthy foods and snacks in moderation that are eaten by the 'rich'.
Not only did I 'defy' you, I did it in less than 5 seconds, pretty sad.
And if you'd bothered to read the rest of that sentence you quote, you would have noticed the caveat, "in the form of a stay-at-home parent." But hey, why not selectively misread what I said. Lot easier to win an argument when the other person has such malleable verbiage.
Pretty sad.
I disagree with the comments that plentiful, inexpensive food is available to everyone in this country. Studies have shown that is simply not true. It is cheaper to eat an unhealthy diet. Many inner city neighborhoods experience "food deserts", or areas where the only store to buy food within walking distance might be a convenient store.
I believe the solution lies with everyone. If a child had a reading disability, the local schools would be quick to put the child in special education. However, no one wants to face the problem of an obese child. Why? Are we afraid we will damage their delicate psyche? Trust me. The children will have to face the consequences at some point.
I'm sure the overweight kid hears much worse than this quite regularly. At least this time it doesn't appear that what was said was meant to intentionally hurt, and that should count for a lot. That's a step up, for high school and junior high school kids. Heck, it's a step up for many adults.
MYOB. It's not up to you to save strangers, or their kids, from their bad habits. Expect a hostile reaction if you try. The "commenter kid" learned the right lesson - that it is rude to offer an unsolicited critique of another's appearance, habits, or (presumed) health problems.
I don't think it's possible for our culture to give people more grief about their bodies then we already do. We've been pointing and shaming and lecturing about individual choices since the 80s, look how effective it's been!
People really are sure (and they are correct) that when someone walks up to someone they don't know or don't know well and dispense "advice" on how someone should or should not do or say something, that the dispenser of advice is self-centered. You don't know anything about that person. You don't (and obviously shouldn't) have any authority over that person. You should remove the plank out of your own eye before pointing out the sliver in the eye of someone else.
If I post on this site, "you are obnoxious" you are most likely (and rightly so) going to blow me off as someone who doesn't know or understand you or why you wrote what you id. But you will know that I was a jerk for saing something so rude, speaking out of turn and being a jerk myself - even if I was correct.
Or, that child should be taught about what is, and what is patently not, his business. Making comments on what others look like, or eat, is not only none of his business, but it's rude and teaching bad manners, and that it's ok to disrespect those who are different in any way.
Perhaps the other child could have railed against Mr Honesty for many reasons, but between being publicly humiliated while eating, and shamed, all he could do was remain silent.
Though I'm sure Mr Honesty is the most perfect example of a human that ever lived, right?
Had my child done that she would have been punished. Any adult doing that deserves any fallout they may get.
Wrong. Being fat in and of itself is not unhealthy. Advancing that belief is a convenient catch-all for a lot of health problems that are associated with being fat. Non-smoking, physically active, non-substance abusing fat people are as healthy or healthier than sedentary, smoking, etc. thin people. And at the extremes of body weight and composition, being too thin is more dangerous than being too fat.
It wouldn't surprise me to find that the high fructose corn syrup folks fund a stealth program to promote the idea that "eating healthy" is impossible for the low income budget, and is way to much trouble and all ..... independent of any truth. ( but then we've all seen that in other aspects of commercial/financial life)
so.
you want to change a culture's most intimate activities? (lots more people eat and have an emotional relationshihp with food , than have sex and an emotional relationship with a sexual partner). One mouth at a time I guess.
One day, my grandmother who hadn't seen me in a while said "You're getting tubby. You need to stop eating crap, get off your butt and so something about it. I won't help you if you keep feeling sorry for yourself". It was a nail in my heart. But after 5 minutes of feeling sorry for myself, was an immediate feeling of relief and gratitude that somebody cared enough to have the courage to tell the truth. Even if it hurt.
From that day forward, she showed how to make proper food choices and alternative ways to release my stress through exercise, reading, talking to friends, anything but gorging on a bag of chips. I lost 40 lbs that summer, and went back to school energized and more confident and in control.
Words cannot express the gratitude I have for my grandmother for having the courage to not only love me enough to say the honest truth, but to stay by my side and give me the tools I needed to stay healthy on my own. Had she not said anything, I'm positive that 40 lbs would have turned into 100.
Vegetables are expensive. If you're on a fixed budget, you're going to stretch your dollars as much as you can. Why spend $3 on lettuce, when you can spend the same amount on pasta and get 10X the calories? (and won't rot in your refrigerator).
It's not about "fat" it is about income, it is about class...and keeping people un-healthy keeps people down, it keeps people with low self esteem, keeps people controlled...and they die sooner, saving money on Social Security, because g_d forbid they should live into old age, and receive entitlements.
If you really want to reduce obesity (so to speak) write to your congress person about agricultural subsidies. Do your research. Why is Monsanto being subsidized, and organic farmers not receiving as much? Ask them why there are still genetic patents, seed patents, intellectual property laws that affect trade?
Obesity is an agricultural and economic policy problem. The fat kid in line at McDonald's is just the victim of these policies. It's not his fault.