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Trey Anthony


Still Holding On to Anger About an Ex? Let it Go

Posted: 03/22/2013 5:04 pm

I am friends with all my exes! Many people find this very strange. I also talk quite regularly to most of my exes and each one of them always calls me to wish me happy birthday! At my last birthday party, my ex came with her new partner, who I adore and we all had a grand old time!

I like receiving regular updates on my exes and I'm very close with most of them! Some of my exes have even flown or driven 15 hours to come to visit me in my new home and we have shared delightful conversations, giggling like school girls way into the night! I truly adore all of my ex partners and I think they are wonderful, amazing, brilliant people! I'm so glad that I have chosen wisely.

So, it's hard for me to comprehend loving someone so deeply and intimately and then pretending as if they never existed! Many years ago I had an extremely bad break up, and because there was so much hurt between us we decided to not speak. This was one of the most difficult and challenging times of my life. It kept me up at night. I went to therapy about it, and could not rid myself of the anger and hurt! I was filled with rage and took no responsibility for the role that I played in the demise of our relationship. I cried about it often. I told everyone I could the list of offences by my ex!

Yet even though I was angry, I just couldn't understand how someone I loved so deeply could act as if we never were... I was so sad that we were not able to come together to talk it out or even be in the same room without some sort of "drama" unfolding!

Thankfully, time does heal all wounds and five years after our break up, I swallowed my pride and realized that I didn't need to be "right" I just wanted to be at peace. So I swallowed my pride and I sent a "peace" email and we agreed to meet. At that meeting we both shed tears of joy and hurt. We were able to talk and work things out. We both realized we needed to be in each other lives. There was so much more we needed to learn from each other, and much more growing that we needed to do as well. There was too much love there for us to just walk away -- too much herstory.

As I get older and I become more committed to my spiritual path, I have little time for bitterness, anger, or hurt. I'm a person who loves passionately and loves deeply. I'm loyal. And if I tell you I love you, I will love you for life! You become my family. I pray often for all my exes, wishing them joy, love and laughter all the things I wish for myself.

I also realize that everyone who comes into your life is a reflection of you. You chose them, they are mirrors of who you are, and you attracted them. So for me, every one of my partners have been beautiful learning lessons. I have loved them all differently. Learnt different things. And they have truly shaped the womyn I am, and slowly evolving to be. I loved them and I still love them all in my own special way. I want each one of them to be happy and live inspired lives! And I truly thank each and everyone of them for loving me fiercely.

So my lesson to to everyone today is, I truly encourage you, to let go of anger, hurt and blame. If there is an ex in your life whom you feel anger towards or cannot speak to them, let them go...let them go with love. Daily bless them and pray for them. Don't hold on to anger it's not good. Write them a letter, send it, or maybe don't send it. Maybe send them a peace email, reach out in a loving way or silently release them in your heart. But you must let go of the anger, remember that you use to love them.... and love is a gift -- always choose to unwrap it.

"Love is a gift of one's inner most soul to another so both can be whole." -Buddhist quote.


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  • Joe Jonas

    Taylor Swift started dating Joe Jonas back in summer 2008, and that relationship fell apart a few months later. Jonas reportedly broke up with Swift in a<a href="http://www.justjared.com/2008/11/06/joe-jonas-taylor-swift-phone-call-dump/"> 27-second phone call</a> and then started <a href="http://www.hollyscoop.com/joe-jonas/joe-jonas-and-camilla-belle-dating.html">dating actress Camilla Belle</a>. Swift was heartbroken and <a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1655326/Taylor-Swift-Dating-History-Joe-Jonas-Jake-Gyllenhaal.jhtml">penned the song "Forever and Always" </a>about Jonas, in which she called him a "scared little boy." She also wrote the song "Better Than Revenge," which is <a href="http://voices.yahoo.com/taylor-swift-she-mocking-actress-camilla-belle-7038864.html">believed to be about Belle stealing Jonas away from her. </a>

  • Taylor Lautner

    Taylor Swift met then 17-year-old Taylor Lautner on set for the film "Valentine's Day," and dated from August 2009 until November of that year. It's believed that the song "Back To Decemeber" is <a href="http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1649822/taylor-swift-back-december-lyrics-apology.jhtml">Swift's apology to Lautner for their breakup</a>.

  • Lucas Till

    Taylor Swift dated her "You Belong With Me" video co-star Lucas Till for a short time in 2009. <a href="http://www.thehollywoodgossip.com/2009/12/lucas-till-i-dated-taylor-swift/">After they broke up, the actor told MTV</a>: "We dated for a little bit. But, there was no friction because we were too nice," he said. "Most relationships work out cause you get along and then you don't, and then you make up and its passionate, and with us I really just liked her as a friend. That’s the only reason that didn't work out."

  • John Mayer

    Taylor Swift dated notorious ladies' man John Mayer from November 2009 to February 2010. The breakup left Swift heartbroken and she penned the song "Dear John" about it. Some have speculated that Swift lost her virginity to Mayer, as the brief relationship really did a number on her. Earlier this year, Mayer <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/06/06/john-mayer-taylor-swift-dear-john-cheap-humiliating_n_1573416.html">admitted that he felt "humiliated"</a> when he heard the song, but Swift refused to own up to writing about him. She told Glamour magazine that it was "presumptuous" of him to think she'd write about him. Despite her protests, we all know "Dear John" is about Mayer, and it's <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/09/taylor-swift-i-knew-you-were-trouble-song-likely-about-john-mayer_n_1951492.html">likely "I Knew You Were Trouble" is as well. </a>

  • Cory Monteith

    Taylor Swift was rumored to have dated "Glee" star Cory Monteith for a few months in 2010. Both played coy and said they <a href="http://content.usatoday.com/communities/entertainment/post/2010/05/is-taylor-swift-dating-glee-star-cory-monteith/1">were just good friends,</a> but it looked like they may have been friends with benefits, if not actually a couple.

  • Toby Hemingway

    Taylor Swift and Toby Hemingway filmed a music video for Swift's song "Mine" together, and they <a href="http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/celebritynews/7968407/Taylor-Swift-inseparable-from-British-actor-Toby-Hemingway.html">reportedly took the romance offscreen for a short time in 2010. </a>

  • Jake Gyllenhaal

    In October 2010, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/10/25/taylor-swift-jake-gyllenh_n_773466.html">Taylor Swift's romance with Jake Gyllenhaal</a> came as a surprise to most people. The brief relationship suspiciously played out in the public eye as the couple were often photographed -- as seen here strolling in Brooklyn on a coffee date. The odd pairing had many wondering if the relationship was a publicity move, but it seems Swift really had her heart broken. The couple broke up in late Decemeber 2011,<a href="tp://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-body/news/taylor-and-jake-why-they-split-201141#ixzz2AKsPn9wy"> with Us Weekly reporting </a>that the then-30-year-old actor wasn't into her anymore and he could feel the 10-year age difference. It wasn't quite over as they were spotted having dinner together in January 2011, but called it quits again shortly after. It's believed that Swift's song "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," as well as a number of other songs on her new album, "Red," <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/09/05/taylor-swifts-we-are-never-ever-song-jake-gyllenhaal_n_1858318.html">were written about Gyllenhaal.</a>

  • Zac Efron

    Taylor Swift and Zac Efron were rumored to be dating while they were promoting their movie "The Lorax" in February 2011. Both stars <a href="http://www.accesshollywood.com/taylor-swift-and-zac-efron-address-dating-rumors_article_60944">denied they were together</a>, but judging from <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/25/taylor-swifts-ex-boyfriends-ellen-video_n_2015960.html?utm_hp_ref=celebrity">Ellen DeGeneres' recent decree that the were a couple,</a> we're going to go out on a limb and say they totally, maybe dated.

  • Garrett Hedlund

    Taylor Swift and Garrett Hedlund were spotted having dinner together in April 2011, which <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/04/06/taylor-swift-garrett-hedlund-date_n_845418.html">sparked rumors the two were dating. </a> "It was their first time going out," a source told Us Weekly. "They've been emailing for a while, and she hinted they should get together."

  • Eddie Redmayne

    Taylor Swift dated actor Eddie Redmayne when she was auditioning to play Eponine in a film adaptation of "Les Miserables" in October 2011. "They hung out in New York City with the movie's execs," <a href="http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/why-taylor-swifts-secret-romance-with-eddie-redmayne-fizzled-201292">a source told Us Weekly</a> "And Taylor developed feelings for him fast." The relationship didn't last long, and the couple broke things off in February 2012, because Eddie reportedly wasn't interested in doing the whole long-distance thing.

  • Harry Styles

    Recently there have been rumors that Taylor Swift dated One Direction's Mick Jagger look-alike, Harry Styles. <a href="http://perezhilton.com/2012-10-19-taylor-swift-secretly-dated-one-direction-harry-styles-cheated-dumped-romance#.UImJGml25Og">She reportedly dated him before she started dating Conor Kennedy in summer 2012. </a>

  • Conor Kennedy

    Taylor Swift is OBSESSED with the Kennedy family, so naturally she decided it was a good idea to start a relationship with 18-year-old Conor Kennedy. The couple were first spotted together in July at his family's compound in Hyannis Port, and Swift reportedly went to far as to buy a home close by. Swift <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/10/taylor-swift-conor-kennedy-grown-man-defends-self-rolling-stone_n_1954553.html">defended herself against critics of the relationship</a> who couldn't understand what a 22-year-old woman was doing with a high school student. The relationship quickly came to an end, however. <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/10/25/taylor-swift-conor-kennedy-split-after-three-months-of-dating_n_2017743.html?utm_hp_ref=celebrity">It was reported on Oct. 25 </a>that the couple called it quits and hadn't seen each other in a month. At least Swift was able to get some good material out of the relationship, as she penned "Starlight" about the Ethel Kennedy, and it's believed that "Everything Has Changed" was written about Conor.


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