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Wayne K. Spear

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Amanda Todd Was Not Just Bullied

Posted: 10/16/2012 12:18 pm

I've no objection in principle to NDP Member of Parliament Dany Morin's motion this week to pursue a national bullying-prevention strategy. This proposal was conceived some months ago, but it is now widely mis-held to be an outcome of the suicide of 15-year-old Amanda Todd. You are doubtless familiar with her appalling and sad and outrageous story, which has been widely reported and which has now got many people talking about something called cyberbullying.

SLIDESHOW: AMANDA TODD REMEMBERED

I arrived late to the details of this young life cut short, but very quickly I was bothered by the pattern into which the news coverage invariably took form. In a week which was especially rich in news of men attacking girls and women, I was unable to find a single news source prepared to follow the evidence to its logical conclusion -- that Amanda Todd was the victim of male sexual violence, and that her subsequent treatment by peers disclosed the impossible double standards to which girls and women are held where sexual mores are concerned. (To be fair, these conclusions lie well beyond journalistic objectivity -- but I can't be the only one to have arrived at them.)

We are used to reading about the fate of females elsewhere who besmirch a presumed chastity, but here on display was the familiar and rank hypocrisy by which women are routinely sexualized and then attacked for their supposedly wanton ways. Bullying, I submit, is a euphemistic way of describing these attitudes, and perhaps even a changing of the subject.

It may be the case that Canada needs a cyberbullying law, and I don't mean to suggest that Amanda Todd was at no point in her life bullied. The initial crime against her however was sexual predation, and it was soon followed by the attempted crime of blackmail, in pursuit of further sexual exploitations. While the use of electronic social media in the commission of these crimes may warrant Criminal Code updates (and as I understand it, such is the approach of Liberal MP Hedy Fry's cyberbullying Bill C-273), neither pedophilia nor blackmail are beyond the reach of existing law.

Then there is the charge of physical assault, which again may be seen as an instance of bullying but which may be apprehended under existing legislation. This leaves for consideration the insults and injuries committed on Facebook, vile but also an extension of the sexual predation/blackmail crimes of a perpetrator who is still out there, somewhere, if only the (again, existing) law can get to him.

I suspect Mr. Morin is right to contrast the bullying he experienced, before the arrival of Internet social media, to the bullying now experienced by young people. His useful words will no doubt renew the vigilance of those of us with children, against not new types of crime but the ones we have always known to exist. In speaking of that which really is new, we should not drown ourselves in a sea of cyberjargon. There are perfectly good words for the ancient dangers and attitudes, and as I consider the sad case of Amanda Todd, it is these that I discern.

AMANDA TODD REMEMBERED


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  • A Facebook post from <a href="https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151108737498527&set=pb.245559443526.-2207520000.1349995284&type=1&theater">G Force Gym - Home of the Vancouver All Stars</a>: "Today we feel the loss of our former VAS family member Amanda... I ask that we all watch her video and share her story so that her loss is not in vain. Allow this to be her legacy... Allow us all to look around & find the next Amanda before another precious spunky teenager is lost. We have a responsibility today... Is there a kid in your school that made a mistake and is being shunned? Your challenge is to be a LEADER ... Be the Game Changers you are and sit with them today... reach out... smile... let them know that they are NOT alone in this harsh world. It's always EASY to do the EASY thing; we teach you to NOT do what is easy and instead, do what is right!! You will be surprised, how many people will follow YOU when you stick up for what is Right and honorable AND, forgiving those that have made mistakes in their YOUTH is the RIGHT thing to do!! Please share Amands's Story... SHARE IT & LIVE IT!"

 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Paul Ca
07:19 PM on 11/14/2012
She was a child and a lost soul.
The creep that started her off is a predator and I hope that somewhere down the line, he gets nailed.
The girls were rotten too.
If any kids are reading this post, think about that young girl. You might not like them but that is no reas reason to ostracize them or, worse, beat them up or drive them to suicide.
Do you feel better now that she killed herself?.
If you don't like someone, just leave them alone.
Nobody is perfect.
Amanda's story made me sad. Whatever her errors were, she didn't deserve the abuse she endured.
Love your co-habitants on this earth.
They aren't perfect but neither are you.
peace,
p
10:52 AM on 10/20/2012
I note that you conveniently skip over the fact that the bully who physically hit her was a GIRL whose boyfriend Amanda had slept with; that the people who filmed the assault were GIRLS in her peer group; that Amanda had been repeatedly banned from various chat rooms for online masturbation and nudity, but continued to expose herself by moving to other chat rooms with other GIRLS. You seem to want to conveniently lay all of this on male behaviour, and I think that this is because you find that image easier to deal with than the problem of teen girls going online and behaving in a sexual fashion for their own enjoyment.
01:23 PM on 10/18/2012
I don't like bullying and I don't excuse the kids who made this girl feel so badly. But does nobody else find it ironic that just weeks ago the former Prime Minister of Italy made a public decision to publish photos of another woman, obtained against her will or even knowledge, inevitably to be circulated around the world by internet, because of the obvious fact that the money to be made by so doing would exceed any fines or penalties?? I refer to Katherine Middleton, of course, knowing full well that many people will think the "rich" deserve such treatment somehow, or that the offence that ruined Amanda Todd's life was somehow any different in principle.
The public response to the horrible violation of Katherine Middleton was overwhelmingly to go and read these crappy publications and endorse this demoralizing behaviour by gawking at these pictures and defending this as some sort of journalistic freedom!
This is the world the bullies live in: One that teaches them to see women of every stripe as objects worthy of no respect, to violate and mock as they please.
We only really seem to notice it's bad when somebody dies.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
AchillesFinger
Freedom or Death
01:28 PM on 10/17/2012
Bullying. A daily occurrence since the dawn on humankind.

Innate? Learned? Taught? All semantics as it exists and will continue to exist until we...

A) Learn to stop bullying.
B) Learn to stop being victims.

A) Tragedies like this young girls death will continue because no piece of legislation nor any amount of parental control will ever protect a human from the realities one faces when they step outside their door (or log onto the internet). Caution and CONFIDENCE are more valuable lessons to teach a child than installing monitoring software on your pre-teens Mac.

B) Bullies pray on those they perceive as weaker than themselves. From the playground to the parliament, same concept. If we as a nation, a society, a species hope to move forward, this systemic behavior referred to as "BULLYING" must be addressed and the only sure fire way to do this is the address the elephant in the room.

Countries bully each other. Politicians bully each other (and us). Business FEEDS off of it. Our entertainment reeks of bullying, our national sports are saturated with it. You cannot simply sanitize these systems. We as a people need to instill confidence and teach our youth the strength and emotional/spiritual freedom which accompanies self actualization. Hiding our children away from the terrors of this world breeds a generation of victims, teaching them ways to protect themselves creates a generation with life experience and self respect.

Through self respect we all learn respect for others.
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skydiver22
Blue Skies from Arizona!
12:46 AM on 10/17/2012
I have been following this sad story with interest over the last few days. Maybe because I am the father of three girls and worry about their safety and future in this new information age that we live in...

There are a few things about this story aside from the disturbing death of this beautiful young woman that continue to disturb me..

1. After the topless photo incident why did her parents continue to allow her to maintain a visible internet presence knowing that a potential stalker was watching her online activities?

2. A month before her death she published that call for help video on Youtube, why did her parents not know about this video?

3. Why did the Police not pursue this case after the photos were downloaded? You would think that they could have set up a sting operation to catch this guy.

Trying not to walk in the parents shoes. I have no idea what thy are going through right now. But I

Tracking programs for children is a great way to see what your kids are doing online. Some of you civil rights advocates might disagree, but in my mind my children have no internet civil rights while I am raising them. I will be aware of what they are doing on the internet!
I have to wonder if Facebook and certain internet activities are really helping our children these days..
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09:33 PM on 10/16/2012
get a grip buddy...wanton ways?
bullying starts at the top and the governmnt is the worst bulliers.
sexual violence, i dont think so...stop demoralizing and see it for what it is...
harassment
04:48 PM on 10/16/2012
Thank you. I also wonder why this obvious angle hasn't been raised more often. From day 1 existing laws could have been applied. It blows my mind how, even though the police knew of the original photo, they did not treat it as child pornography.

In my humble opinion, the system failed Todd miserably and regardless of any new bullying laws there will continue to be victims if people do not take these matters seriously and apply said laws.
01:28 PM on 10/18/2012
Exactly--this is a great article and as you say, new bullying laws isn't the issue; it's that people--in authority or peers of the girl, or even the general public--do not recognize bullying behaviour until somebody kills herself over it, then it's all sympathy and tears. Mocking and demoralizing females (by either sex) is a creepy part of our culture that we are strangely content to participate in as a society.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Hjorlejf
02:57 PM on 10/16/2012
Another case of "men did it, women are never to blame". She was bullied by girls, too.
Poor article.
09:46 AM on 10/17/2012
you missed the point he stated the actions that took place after the photo were bullying that she was seduced online by a full grown man into showing her breasts than threatened with blackmail if she did not go further with a show.
This man than proceeded to follow through with his threat and followed her from school to school.
You will hear no argument from me on the viciousness of females they can take bullying to a level that is both physical and mental
However the fact that this girl was threatened with blackmail after the picture was taken should have made the police do more than notify the family it was happening. Pathetic that the perverts will only be caught due to public outrage
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Hjorlejf
07:29 AM on 10/18/2012
Fair enough, I don't disagree with that.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Ike Awgu
11:07 AM on 10/17/2012
Agreed.
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Larry Motuz
More prayers, fewer preyers.
01:06 PM on 10/16/2012
Well thought out, Mr. Spear.

Ultimately, she was bullied and harassed by a sexual predator. That this was sexual predation is clear...and the bullying was just one of the forms it took.