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08/06/2014 10:37 EDT | Updated 08/06/2014 10:59 EDT

'Amazing Race Canada' Season 2, Episode 5 Recap: There's No Place Like Home

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WARNING: Spoiler Alert! Do not read on unless you've seen "Amazing Race Canada" Season 2, Episode 5. Unless you like spoilers, then go right ahead!

Seeing the recap from last week just reminded me that Laura and Jackie got the shaft with the non-elimination round and Jinder and Sukhi, who are sometimes hit but mostly miss, lucked out. Why, fates? Why the mysterious ways?

The teams ended the international leg by leaving Macau at the statue of Kun Iam, the Goddess of Mercy, so please, producers. Please have mercy on us who no longer want any lame challenges like last week's firecracker-lighting farce.

Natalie and Meaghan were the first to leave for the umpteenth time and got news that they were headed back to Canada -- the Yukon, to be specific. The rest of the teams followed, at least an hour-and-a-half after Team Hockey, and the Express Pass was on everyone's minds. Well, everyone but Mickey and Pete, who I'm not sure even knew it was in play.

Sadly, Natalie and Meaghan's moustache-twirling-villains radar was busted because they gave the coveted Express Pass to Pierre and Michel. Pourquoooooooi?! Bob calls the move "dumb" and it's hard to argue with that.

After a night's rest in the stunning Yukon, it was Detour time: Make Your Bed or Ride a Sled. It seemed like a no-brainer as Bed involved recreating a camp site identical to one already set up, while those who chose Sled had to harness three dogs, attach them to a sled and complete six laps but I guess Mickey and Pete, Cormac and Nicole, and Rex and Bob have a good eye for detail.

Ryan and Rob, Alain and Audrey, and Sukhi and Jinder found the harnesses, while Teams Hockey and Twins each forgot one of the three names on their dog list. Of all the things. So both teams ran the 1.5 km back to the cabin to get the names but while Hockey went back to their dogs, the twins changed it up to Bed.

Back at Bed, everything continued to be easy-breezy for Mickey and Pete, who tried to bust a move on "gorgeous" "hot mom" Nicole. Cormac was all, "Dudes, that's my Mom," but Nicole shrugged it off (and then hopefully got one of their numbers later). The Bickersons, Rex and Bob, were having issues and it only got worse when the twins showed up and built their tent tout de suite.

Oh, those poor dogs of Jin and Suk. Animal services, anyone? Of course, they had no clue how to harness the dogs but instead of looking at the examples of what all the other teams followed, they had to pester the closest team to them. Hell, they probably asked the dogs for help.

Ryan and Rob were first to finish, followed by Sukhi and Jinder, whose dogs had enough of them and tossed them as they finished their last lap. The sibs also had to complete the Speed Bump, which involved hooking up a trailer to their truck, driving a dozen kilometres, then backing it perfectly into a spot without knocking down any pylons. So, if you can drive, you could've done this "challenge."

The Roadblock was a biathlon: Bike a 1 km-loop in the woods, then hit five targets. If any of the five were missed, they had to bike the loop again to earn five more rounds of ammo. And so on. Hmm, an actual toughie. Nice!

The first bikers and shooters were Ryan, Natalie, Alain and Nicole. Ryan got two out of five, Nat got four, Nicole got none and Alain -- all five. Damn. Audrey was freaking out, understandably, and they took off before the other teams even arrived.

Mickey, a hunter, was the obvious choice and, womp, womp -- he missed all five. Maybe he could've gotten a couple if he wasn't shooting it like he was busting a cap in someone's ass, but I digress. Natalie finished, while Sukhi, Rex and Pierre were the next shooters up. Sukhi asked 19 questions before shutting up and shooting Spooner-style, scoring four out of five. Huh?? No, really. What? Sukhi did a lap, shot her last target and now the rest of Canada had questions. Primarily how did that just happen?

To get to the pit stop, the teams had to portage their canoes to the Yukon River, then paddle to Jon. Easy enough, but Alain had to endure more shrieking from Audrey, with Teams Hockey and R & R on their tails. Meaghan and Natalie had to take a breather thanks to Meaghan's hand (which she broke before the Gold Medal game in Sochi), so it was down to Audrey and Alain and Ryan and Rob, but it was the Montreal couple who took first spot. Ryan and Rob were next, and like many of us, were just pleased that Natalie and Meaghan's streak finally came to an end.

"Who designs these torture tests -- Satan?" No really, Rex, Satan. Most of the teams completed the biathlon after a few rounds but Pete and Nicole really struggled -- biking, missing, biking, missing, biking, missing. Pete eventually nailed the targets as the sibs figured which way was down the river and finished in fourth for the day while the country watched in bewilderment. Yes, an impressive finish, but I still can't with these two. They were followed by Pierre and Michel, Mickey and Pete, and Rex and Bob.

Which left Nicole and Cormac. Sigh. It's always the good ones, right? She said right from the start that she wasn't a quitter and was always taught to finish what you start, and after 22 (!!!) attempts (which, do the math, also meant 22 km of biking in those treacherous woods), a physically and emotionally exhausted Nicole finally hit all the marks. Not only did she finish like a champ but let's not ignore Cormac. He could've easily lost his shiitake mushrooms but not once did we see him banging his head against a tree. Every time she missed, he said she was close; every time she got one, he screamed how proud he was. It was just an amazing thing to watch. The unamazing part? That another favourite team is gone from the race. If this keeps up, we're going to have to call it "The Annoying Race Canada." No, really, if Ryan and Rob are next to go, I'm done.

Episode 4 Recap

Episode 3 Recap

Episode 2 Recap

Episode 1 Recap

Episode 1 Review

"Amazing Race Canada" Season 2 airs on Tuesdays at 9 p.m. ET/PT on CTV.

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