Believe it or not, Halloween is just around the corner.
And while the annual holiday definitely gives most of a chance to dress up and have some fun with our friends before it gets too cold out, year after year, there's always a certain few who miss the memo and go out in a costume that is completely inappropriate.
So to help those particular individuals out, we've complied a list of some costumes you should totally avoid wearing on Halloween. (Seriously, for the love of God, do not wear these.)
A photo posted by Claire Maguire (@clairemaguire1984) on
Umm... we're not really sure how anyone can think this is OK to do. Minstrel shows ended a long time ago. They weren't cool in the 19th century, and no one's asked for a comeback. So stick to keeping your skin its actual colour. Thanks.
Calavera, otherwise known as sugar skull makeup, is associated with Día de los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, according to Latina.com. The Mexican spiritual holiday is a celebration of loved ones who have passed away, and has nothing to do with being "seductive."
Other than the fact that the term "Arab" dismisses the many cultural differences of Middle Eastern groups, Islamophobia is real. And while some may think wearing this costume is funny, those who deal with the discrimination probably aren't going to feel the same way.
The story of Harambe the gorilla set the Internet ablaze earlier this summer after a small child fell into his entrapment. For the sake of the child's safety, officials fatally shot the primate, which caused quite a bit of controversy. But whether you agree with the decision to kill the animal or not, this case made a lot of people, parents and animal lovers alike, very upset. So please, just don't even go there, because there's nothing "sexy" about it.
There you have it, folks. While there are definitely way more costumes out there that people should avoid, let's hope more of us will use some better judgement this year and aim to acknowledge that there's a plethora of things to dress up as that won't get anyone upset.
One of the best Halloween traditions involves destroying childhood memories by adding blatant sexuality to beloved childhood characters. This sexy Scooby Doo costume does that in spades. As Scooby himself might say, "Ruh roh!"
Floating Dead Rubber Duck
Why should human zombies have all the fun. This zombie-themed rubber duck shows we need to fear the "floating dead" as well. http://shop.celebriducks.com/product_p/1007.htm
Man in Tub Costume
Want a Halloween costume that lets you show off some skin while still seeming to be good clean fun? The inflatable bathtub should whet your appetite.
Some people drink too much at Halloween and spend November 1 with their head in the toilet. This costume is certainly more efficient. ·
Turn Me On
This light switch costume is perfect for people who aren't good at expressing their emotions verbally. Now you can let people know how you feel about them by clicking the switch up or down. No one's feelings will be hurt if you keep the switched turned "off." They were turned off by this costume when you walked in the room.
Sexy Cow Costume
At some point, costume companies are going to run out of animals they can make sexy. Oh, guess they. This "sexy cow" costume has a little heart that says "In The Moood." Why? Wasn't "Udderly Horny" clever enough?
A Very Special Present
Some costume ideas never get old. Outfits based on 10-year-old Saturday Night Live skits probably do. If the subtle humor of this costume escapes you, here's a brief explanation. The suit contains a gift-wrapped box in the crotch section which contains the man's sex organ. The idea is that his male sex organ is so incredible that it is a gift for anyone lucky enough to receive it.
Adult Inflatable Baby Costume
For everyone that wants to show off their moneymakers in a skimpy sexy costume, there is someone else who aren't as comfortable with their body. This inflatable baby costume hides those problem areas, while giving the wearer extra space to keep their candy.
Bloody Toilet Paper
Yes, the bathroom is the scariest room in any house. Blood-stained toilet paper will make it even grosser. Especially if people forget to flush so the ink stains the bowl. Fun stuff, kids.
Giant Schnoz Mask
Warning: Do not wear this Giant Schnoz Mask unless you're OK with hearing cocaine jokes all night.
Sawing Wood Doll Animatronic
Looking for something creepy to add color to your haunted house or Halloween party? This animatronic Pinocchio-type doll will fill the bill. It appears as if it's sawing off its arm. Of course, you may have to deal with lots of Obamacare jokes. It's that kind of year.
Sexy Cat In Hat
A sexy Cat in the Hat costume? Seriously? The only one who can sum up my feelings about this childhood destroyer is Dr. Seuss himself. “Cat, you ruined mom's dress!" "Honey, it was ruined when she bought it.”
Wanna See My Nuts Costume
It says something about the costumes in this guide that this one comes off as almost tasteful. Apparently the phrase, "Wanna see my nuts" has two different meanings. On one hand, it could be a tree saying, "Hey, I have these nuts. Want to see them?" On the other, it could be a slightly creepy guy saying, in effect, "Hey, I use the word 'nuts' to refer to my testicles? Want to see them?" Be careful: Some people may want to play with your squirrel (FYI: another term that has two meanings).
If your plan is to appeal to women consists of dressing up as a waitress from "Droopers," you could be in for a rough go of it. However, there is a way to spin it so you don't come off as the sexist creeper you most certainly are. Say this: "This costume is my way of protesting the objectification of women in our consumer culture and the way major corporations force young females to parade their bodies around to sell product. It also honors the beauty of all women no matter their age or body type." Please don't follow that up with "Can I do a body shot off you?"
Sexy (But Still Slightly Creepy) Clown
Creepy clown sightings are all the rage this fall. This clown costume is trying to be sexy, not creepy. Ironically, that makes it creepy.
Mohawk Wig Typically Worn By Extras In Bad 1980s Action Comedies
OK, in every bad action comedy made in the 1980s, there is a scene where the hero gets caught in a place where he doesn't fit in and gets surrounded by a bunch of thugs who stare at him in a threatening manner. One of those extras is always a "punk rocker" in the type of mohawk only seen in, well, bad 1980s action comedy. If obscurity movie references is your goal, this is your huckleberry.
Unisex Bathroom Sign Costume Skirt
This unisex bathroom costume could inspire different reactions depending on the crowd. Whatever you do, don't wear it in North Carolina.
Donald Trump Wall Costume
A lot of people might dress up as Donald Trump this year, but the true Halloween players will go as his wall. You better buy it with your own money though, because Mexico isn't paying for this either.
"Bro White": The perfect costume for guys who think they're comfortable enough with their masculinity to dress like a female, but don't think others are comfortable with it to go all the way. What a drag.
This article exists as part of the online archive for HuffPost Canada.
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