We Canadians usually have a pretty good sense of humour about how others might see us.
People think we're overly polite? *chuckles* Thank you! All we wear is plaid and/or denim on denim? Well, it's just more practical for all that lumberjacking. Our national pastime is shovelling (year-round) while drinking beer kept cool in a snowbank and listening to the good 'ol hockey game on the radio? Naw, we prefer to keep our beverages chilled in icebergs, or in the shadow of a moose.
But come after our beloved landscape, and we will END YOU. Nicely. Politely. Sorry. Why don't we talk about this calmly over some soon-to-be legal marijuana?
Canadian hearts fluttered Monday as rumours swirled that newlyweds Meghan Markle and Prince Harry might honeymoon in Alberta's Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge. Although the luxury hotel flat-out denied it, TMZ had reported that the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, as they're now known, will be staying in the 6,000 square-foot Outlook Cabin, also called the "Royal Retreat," nestled in the heart of the Canadian Rockies, surrounded by nature and wildlife. What could be more perfect?
But then the New York Post's Page Six did the unthinkable and called the Fairmont Jasper Park Lodge the "world's most boring place" in reaction to the news and, um, sorry, so sorry, excuse us, but NO (thank you).
Their article didn't elaborate on what, exactly, is boring about a private lodge with six bedrooms (with ensuite bathrooms), an enclosed conservatory and veranda, two stone fireplaces, a large terrace, and a full kitchen with a private catering entrance...
... in the middle of magnificent Jasper Park, a UNESCO World Heritage Site ...
... that played host to Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip in 2005, and King George VI and Queen Elizabeth in 1939.
But, they did call us "boring" in their headline, and that was enough to rile Canadians up to do what we do best: respond to the allegations in a mostly friendly, collegial tone.
The New York Post called Jasper, Alberta "boring". I'd like to see them try to outrun a herd of elk, or a couple hungry grizzly bears, or an avalanche, and then call it boring.— Kristi Colleen (@KristiColleen) May 29, 2018
I'm glad to know some people find Jasper boring. More room for the rest of us to hike and paddle and ski and bike and picnic and stargaze and swim and camp and horseback ride and climb and skate and sled and fish and sit in hot springs and golf and— Andrea Ross (@_rossandrea) May 28, 2018
Summer is also not-so-boring in Jasper @Pagesix. #rafting #climbing #fishing #hiking #wildlife #freshair— Erin Karpluk (@erinkarpluk) May 29, 2018
I was born and raised in #jaspernationalpark What a perfect setting for the @RoyalFamily to have a honeymoon. Incredible environment and people. 💛 @TourismJasper pic.twitter.com/BwB2WefZSl
A few columnists even chimed in. The Edmonton Journal's Paula Simons wrote that she'd reached out to the Post to ask whether they were referring to Jasper as the world's most boring place, or Canada in general, but received no response.
"Ouch. Way to hit us right in our insecurity complex," she wrote of their headline.
"The upshot? Jasper and the lodge scored a day of fantastic free global publicity. (The sneering of the Post notwithstanding, most media outlets seemed charmed by the photos of Jasper looking all unspoiled and glorious.) And we had a splendid day, where we could imagine rubbing shoulders and sharing hiking paths with a duke and his duchess. A day when we could fantasize about being a part of this public love story."
In true Canadian fashion, Global News' Angela Kokott blogged that she's perfectly fine with Jasper being called boring.
"In fact, 'boring' is the perfect place for anyone, including the world's most talked about newlyweds, to find some time away from all the madness," Kokott wrote.
"The New York Post has actually done Jasper a huge favour. The wild crowd can have the Big Apple; we can have the wild with all its 'boring' views and animals."
Also on HuffPost: